


Changing Bed Sheets

by RisemboolRanger



Series: Changing Bed Sheets series [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/M, Fantasy, Friendship, M/M, Multi, Romance, Trust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2017-11-20 00:08:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RisemboolRanger/pseuds/RisemboolRanger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a former prostitute, Andie Frost doesn't know how to adapt to her new life serving the Phantomhive family. But with a little help from the other servants and some insight into their own pasts she may just learn how to trust again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Escape

Lust. Need. Desire.

The emotions swirled around her, clogging the air, thick enough to almost touch. But the feelings weren’t hers. These weren’t emotions that she’d ever felt herself. Plus the difference was easy to tell because her own feelings easily overwhelmed them…

Pain. Fear. And humiliation.

Andrea Frost was a prostitute. And not by her own choice. Her family was extremely poor and – with their father gone, their mother’s declining health and the mouths of her younger brothers to feed – the hard times had called for desperate measures. Too old and fragile to sell her own body, Amanda Frost had offered out her daughter’s instead.

Andrea, or more commonly known as Andie, hated this twisted arrangement. She hated the feel of strange men touching her and crushing her underneath their larger frames. She hated the pain and humiliation of having her body invaded. She hated the onslaught of hot and shameless emotions the men gave out, that she could somehow feel as clearly as her own.

But she never complained and she never tried to convince her mother to stop the arrangement. She loved her younger brothers and if her suffering helped them then so be it. She wasn’t trying to be noble – she didn’t even know the meaning of the word – she just wanted to help her family survive the best it could. She did not want her brothers to ever have to follow the same lifestyle as her.

When Mr. Connors, the man currently above her, had finished satisfying himself he relaxed on top of her, breathing hard and covered in a light sheen of sweat that felt slimy against her skin. She wanted him to get off of her. He was heavy and it hurt her chest. She didn’t need anymore pain. 

After a few minutes he raised himself up on one elbow, his body still covering hers, and stroked the side of Andie’s face with hot fat fingers. “Such a lovely face…” he crooned. “Just like a porcelain doll.”

Andie remained silent like she always did – her gaze fixed on his but not really seeing. She never made a sound during these encounters and she rarely even spoke to people in the daytime anymore. Most people who met her nowadays assumed that she was mute and would look at her with undeserved pity.

Having been told by the local doctor that her body was one unlikely to bear children, it was clear that she was an ideal candidate to be sold this way. But it didn’t mean that she had to like it.

“Lovely…” repeated Mr. Connors, continuing to stroke her face. “It’s a shame you stay so frigid… You should know that you won’t earn yourself any tips if you don’t try and give something back.”

He finally pushed himself off of her and clumsily dressed in the dark. He left without another word, leaving Andie alone in the stuffy, ripe-smelling room to play his comment over in her head.

He’d wanted her to participate more? How could she when it took literally all of her strength to just lie there and take whatever force these men battered into her body?

The stifling heat of the room eventually overpowered her, as it always did, and made her feel suddenly claustrophobic. She hurriedly pulled on her clothes and staggered out of the small back room that she was so often confined to. Her mother would be in the drawing room, collecting her fee from the bedraggled and shameful Mr. Connors.

Andie let herself out onto the street through the side gate and padded barefoot a little way along the road. She came to a stop at the small churchyard on the corner. She climbed awkwardly over the low fence and flopped down onto the ground beside a crumbling headstone, using it as a backrest.

The heated temperature of the tiny room combined with the smell of sex and cheap cologne always overwhelmed her… But sitting on the damp ground with the cold seeping into her bones felt good. She much preferred being out in the open. It was nowhere near as frightening as being cramped into a small space with a lecherous stranger.

She tipped her head back and watched the stars in silence, not really thinking or feeling anything. This was just part of her life. She didn’t like it but there was nothing she could do to escape from it.

“Now there’s no sense in thinking like that.”

Andie started at the unfamiliar voice and quickly scrambled to her feet. A tall refined-looking man donning a black tailcoat was stood before her. She hadn’t seen or even heard him approach… It was almost as if he’d materialised out of thin air. 

“You’ll find that there’s always somebody who can provide the escape you’re looking for,” the man continued in a smooth, formal voice. “The only thing that it depends on… is a price.”

Andie recoiled – more from the man himself than his actual words. She may allow her body to be a harbour for cheap sex, but men terrified her to her very soul. Especially strangers. With no memories of her father or any extended family, the only way she knew men was as predators looking to sin and satisfy their needs.

“Now don’t look so worried,” said the man cheerfully. “This is only a proposal. I won’t force you to take it.”

Andie still kept silent, like she normally did. She didn’t know what this well-dressed man could want with her, but the last proposal that had been forced onto her had pretty much ruined her life.

When he didn’t get a response, the man happily continued. “If you’d truly like to escape this lifestyle I can offer you work – and a place to stay – so that you can continue to provide for your family without ever having to sell yourself again.”

Only then did Andie finally speak. “What kind of work?” she asked nervously. She couldn’t see this man offering her a good opportunity simply out of the kindness of his heart.

“Oh, some cleaning, maybe helping out around the gardens…” said the man thoughtfully. “We’re definitely in need of somebody who can darn and mend clothes.”

He cast a knowing glance over Andie’s long white jumper that she’d knitted herself. She wrapped her arms protectively around herself and said quietly, “I’m not very good at it.”

“No matter,” said the man with a casual wave of his hand. “I’m sure you’ll be a far sight better than the staff we already have.”

Andie didn’t know what to say to that – she just continued to watch the man with a wary gaze. He was younger and clearly of a higher class than the men she normally had to serve… But he was still a man either way, and she didn’t trust men.

“Who are you?” she asked instead, feeling more than a little curious.

“My name is Sebastian Michaelis,” he introduced with a sweeping bow. “I work for the Phantomhive family. I presume you’ve heard of them?”

Andie nodded. “The toymakers.”

Sebastian looked pleased. “Splendid!”

He paused before going on, allowing Andie another chance to ask questions. Her brow was furrowed, deep in thought. This man wasn’t full of lust and desperation like so many others that she’d met… But he exuded a dark aura that she’d never felt from anyone before. It didn’t feel… well, _human_.

She hesitated for several long seconds before asking her next question in a rare moment of boldness. “ _What_ are you?”

Sebastian didn’t seem offended by her question. On the contrary, he looked quite pleased. “My, you are perceptive… You see, I am simply one hell of a butler. And from what I can tell, you happen to have a little gift of your own.”

“A gift?” Andie repeated curiously.

“You can perceive the emotions of others,” explained Sebastian. “It’s quite a rare talent, and one I’d like to assist you in developing.”

Andie mulled the thought over in her head with wonder. It was a gift that she had? Being able to pick up the feelings of others was a rare talent? She’d always found the effects to be frightening, rather than useful.

“But I can only pick up certain things,” she admitted, shame-faced. “Bad things.”

“Which is exactly why I’d like to help you hone your skills,” replied Sebastian. “You perceive negative emotions because that’s all you’ve known. But with some help you could learn to identify and feed off of positive, stronger emotions too.”

He allowed a few moments for his words to sink in. He could see that he had her hooked. What individual wouldn’t want the opportunity to try and expand on a gift so unique?”

“I really won’t have to be sold to anymore men?” checked Andie, still disbelieving.

“Never again,” promised Sebastian. “You will simply be a maid of sorts, nothing more. You’ll find that all of our staff have exceptional abilities of their own.”

“And my family? You said I could still provide for them,” Andie reminded.

“Yes, of course,” said Sebastian. “Obviously staying at Phantomhive Manor you’ll be provided with a room to stay in and food to sustain you. Whatever keep you earn from working for the Phantomhives you can do with as you please.”

“I want it all to go to my family,” said Andie without a moment’s hesitation. She didn’t want her family to have to go through such hard times ever again. She couldn’t bear the thought of her brothers having to take up her role once they were older.

“As you wish,” agreed Sebastian. “Now… Will you be ready to leave immediately or would you like to bid farewell to your family first?”

Andie considered the younger brothers who looked up to her, who would cry and plead with her not to leave if she told them she was going elsewhere; she considered the mother who had never loved her and only seen her as a source of income…

She shook her head. “No. I’m ready to escape.”

Sebastian cast a cursory glance over her. “You should at least return home one more time to collect some shoes, even if you don’t want to tell your family of your intentions. It really is quite chilly out tonight.”

“I’ve never really minded the cold,” said Andie simply.

**XXX**

Phantomhive Manor was big – bigger than Andie could have ever imagined. She’d never seen buildings like this before. And that was just the landscape of the manor and the grounds from outside.

Inside was a series of wide sweeping stairways, lines upon lines of polished hardwood doors, unbelievably long corridors that seemed to stretch on forever…

She kept a wary distance from Sebastian the whole time as he showed her around. He may have rescued her from her unfortunate lifestyle and given her a better alternative of how to live, but he was still another man and both her head and her heart didn’t trust that fact. 

He introduced her to the master of the manor. Ciel Phantomhive was a boy surprisingly young – younger even than herself. But he also exuded a dark air similar to Sebastian’s, though nowhere near as strong. She wondered if he wasn’t entirely human either, but she wasn’t quite brave enough to ask the question a second time.

Ciel seemed to be a boy of few words and appeared neither pleased nor displeased with Sebastian’s choice of a new servant. He merely introduced himself and stated that it would be the duty of Sebastian and the other servants to take her under their wing.

Andie’s mind was reeling by the time Sebastian led her down towards the servant’s quarter. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic again, despite the vastness of the great manor. In truth, she was afraid of her new surroundings.

As much as she’d despised her lifestyle, it had always been a constant for her. Change scared her. Her mother had always been there to choose her customers – to separate the bad… from the very bad. She didn’t want to deal with the possible emotions that she could pick up from people who were very bad.

Now who would make that judgement for her? Who could she find to hide behind and rely on to show her who was untrustworthy and who was worse?

“And this is where you’ll be staying,” announced Sebastian, interrupting Andie’s troubled thoughts.

Andie looked around. The servant’s quarter was small by the rest of the manor’s standards, but it was at least twice the size of her own house. She peered timidly through the different doors – there were a couple of neat little bedrooms and a small bathroom.

She then jumped when she saw that there was already somebody in the quarter who she hadn’t noticed before. A short elderly man was sat on a chair in the corner, holding a cup of tea with both hands and looking quite content.

“This is Tanaka,” Sebastian introduced, watching Andie’s gaze. “He’s served the Phantomhive family since before Master Ciel was born. He won’t give you any trouble – he’s the best behaved of all our staff here.”

Tanaka seemed harmless but Andie still maintained a safe distance from him. She gave him the slightest nod of the head, which he returned with a smile before his attention was drawn back to his tea.

“I’ll assemble the rest of the staff for you to meet and then I’ll leave you to it,” said Sebastian. “Wait here with Tanaka – I won’t be long.”

Andie blanched at the thought of being left alone with yet another strange man, but Sebastian was gone before she could protest. She needn’t have worried because Tanaka remained in his corner, simply watching her quietly over the top of his teacup.

When Sebastian returned he was accompanied by three other servants – two male and one female. Andie recoiled from them, feeling herself withdrawing more and more. There were too many strange people around her all at once. She didn’t like it. She barely even listened to Sebastian’s continued introductions.

“This is Mey-Rin, our maid. Finny here tends to the gardens, and Bardroy is our chef.”

They all offered up cheerful words of welcome. One even extended a hand for her to shake, though she couldn’t tell which – they were all too close; the images of them blurring together… Andie shrank back against the wall behind her and the voices changed to that of concern.

“Are you okay?”

“She isn’t saying anything.”

“Is she mute?”

“No, no, she can talk. She’s just a little shy,” said Sebastian cheerily. “Come now, Andrea. You won’t find a more harmless group than these.”

Andie wondered where he could have learnt her name. She certainly hadn’t told him. But then he’d known about her and her gift, and where to find her in the first place… Why wouldn’t he have known her name too?

“Andie,” she corrected shyly. The other servants beamed happily the moment she spoke, almost like she was a child learning to talk for the first time.

“My mistake… Andie, of course,” smiled Sebastian, making Andie think that his slip-up had been intentional. “Now then, Andie… Are you feeling brave enough to stay here with the other servants? Or am I going to have to take you back home?”

Andie eyed the three young people before her, assessing them in the way she usually did to whittle down the danger of strangers. Normally she would have automatically been drawn to the female for protection. But Mey-Rin was giving off an emotion she knew all too well… _Lust_. Andie couldn’t tell who exactly it was aimed at, but it was an emotion that she mistrusted and feared.

The chef Bardroy seemed impossibly tall compared to her tiny frame, and was quite rugged behind the cook’s uniform he was wearing. Andie couldn’t pick up any particular feelings from him, but on appearance alone he was the kind of intimidating male figure that she generally tried to avoid.

That left the young gardener, Finnian, pretty as a girl with fair hair and large eyes… He was the most harmless looking person she’d ever seen. He seemed like the obvious choice. Maybe she could rely on him? She ached for protection and always felt so vulnerable without a figure to hide behind…

She turned back and gave Sebastian the barest of nods. “I’ll be okay.”

“Excellent,” said Sebastian briskly. “In that case I’ll leave you all to get better acquainted.”

With that, he left Andie with her new working family and headed back to Ciel’s quarters. His contract and bond with the master meant that he always knew exactly when the young lord wished to speak with him.

“You wanted to see me, young lord?” asked Sebastian courteously, upon returning to Ciel’s study.

“Yes,” replied Ciel. “I was wondering as to your reasons for hiring new staff without my permission.”

“She’s gifted,” said Sebastian. “She’s an empath.”

Ciel knew that his butler had a good reason behind every servant he hired. He always knew where to find people with unique abilities. “Ah, empathy… So she could be useful.”

“She will be,” agreed Sebastian.

Ciel noticed Sebastian’s particular use of tense. “Will?”

“Right now she can only perceive limited emotions,” explained Sebastian. “In particular ones that she fears.”

“So you’re giving me a broken servant? How lax of you.” The disappointment was evident in Ciel’s tone.

“Come now, my lord,” said Sebastian reproachfully. “You know the saying; all good things come to those who wait.”

“I don’t like waiting,” replied Ciel stubbornly. “I don’t suppose you have an estimate of how long it’ll take for you to fix her?”

A faint smile crossed Sebastian’s face. “All in good time, my lord,” he said simply. “All in good time.”


	2. Bearings

Andie didn’t get any sleep the first night in Phantomhive Manor. This wasn’t new to her. Insomnia was a bit of a recurring problem of hers, and what little sleep she did get was usually plagued by nightmares. So she didn’t really feel like she was missing out at all.

When the morning rolled round she found herself amidst the happy chatter of the other servants as they ate a quick simple breakfast and got ready to carry out their chores for the day. Andie couldn’t decide if it was pleasant or unnerving. Either way, such happiness wasn’t something she was used to.

But only when Mey-Rin disappeared, saying she first had to change all of the bed linen, did Andie realise that she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing. She didn’t think Sebastian would be very happy if she stayed in the servant’s quarter doing nothing on her first day whilst the others did all the work.

Tanaka would probably have been the best person to ask – Sebastian had said he was the best behaved too – but he’d left before Mey-Rin had. Andie chewed her lip nervously, hesitating in the corner of the room. She didn’t even know her way around the manor to try and seek out Sebastian. She was afraid of getting lost somewhere on the giant estate.

“Well… I’m off outside then!” announced Finnian brightly, pulling on a straw hat so that it hung loose and covered the back of his neck.

Andie blanched at the thought of being left alone with the intimidating-looking chef, who seemed more laidback and not in as much of a hurry to get to work as the others. She hastily made a swift decision and as Finnian passed she hesitantly grabbed his sleeve.

He stopped and looked round in surprise. Bardroy chuckled. “I think she’s taken a liking to you, Finny.”

Andie shifted uncomfortably and didn’t say anything. Finnian frowned at Bardroy. “You’re talking about her like she can’t hear you,” he chastised.

Bardroy held up both his hands, though he still looked amused. “Hey, I was only kidding.”

Finnian turned back to Andie. “Are you alright?” he asked kindly.

Andie hesitated before quietly admitting, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“Didn’t Sebastian tell you?” asked Bardroy.

Andie recoiled slightly from his much louder voice, but she acknowledged his question and shook her head. Sebastian had given her an overview of what her job would include, but it wasn’t really enough for her to just jump in and start. Especially since she didn’t know her way around the manor yet.

Finnian looked sympathetic. “Do you want me to help you find Sebastian so you can ask him?”

Andie nodded. This way she wouldn’t get lost trying to find her way and she wouldn’t have to face Sebastian alone again – she felt she’d already filled her quota for that last night. Maybe she really had made the right choice in choosing the gardener to be her new safety net.

“Do you want me to take her?” Bardroy offered. “You should probably be getting out to the gardens. I won’t have to start anything in the kitchen just yet.”

Andie tried to take an inconspicuous step back so that Finnian was between her and the chef – though his motives seemed innocent enough he still intimidated her; she didn’t want to go with him – but the movement didn’t go unnoticed.

“I think she’s scared of you,” said Finnian uncertainly.

“I’m not scary!” protested Bardroy.

Andie neither admitted nor denied it. She simply kept her wary distance and fixed her expectant gaze on Finnian, hoping he’d still be the one to take her to Sebastian.

She was in luck. Seeing the desperate look in her startling blue eyes filled the kind-hearted young gardener with sympathy. He didn’t know what had happened to this girl to make her so fearful of people, but for some reason she seemed to trust him and he couldn’t just ignore that.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take you to find Sebastian,” he told her kindly. He turned towards Bardroy. “I’m sure he won’t mind if I go back to work straight after.”

“Suit yourself,” said Bardroy, still a little resentful at the fact that the new girl was afraid of him. “Try the master’s quarters first – he’ll probably be with him right about now.”

“Alright, thanks!” said Finnian brightly. “Let’s go, Andie.”

Andie nodded again and followed him out of the servant’s quarters, still very tentatively holding onto the edge of his sleeve. He led her up one of the gleaming staircases and along several winding corridors. She was right – she definitely would have gotten lost if she’d been by herself.

They came to a stop in front of a large polished wooden door. “This is the master’s study,” explained Finnian, rapping on the wood. His knock was surprisingly loud for the little effort he seemed to put into it.

Andie was amazed that he could tell the difference. Even though she’d already seen master Ciel’s study the night before she couldn’t see any difference between this door and any of the others that they’d passed. But despite Finnian’s efforts there wasn’t any answer.

He didn’t seem dismayed though. “We’ll try the master’s room instead,” he told Andie.

He led the way down the corridor towards a different door and knocked again. This time they heard murmurs from inside and Andie felt sure that they’d come to the right room. Sure enough, the regal-looking Sebastian opened the door.

“Why good morning,” he addressed them. “Is everything alright?”

Andie shrank back a little. She’d forgotten the intensity of the dark aura that seemed to surround him. How could she have believed even for a moment that this man could possibly be human?

“Andie didn’t know what she was supposed to be doing,” Finnian helpfully answered for her.

“Ah yes, I suppose you’ll need to be shown the ropes first,” said Sebastian, his gaze sweeping over Andie. “I’ll have you working with Mey-Rin since you’ll mostly be doing maid’s duties. Thank you, Finny. You may return to your own work now.”

“Right.” Finnian nodded. He gave Andie a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, Mey-Rin will look after you.”

Andie gazed imploringly after him as he hurried off back down the corridor. She took a small step in the same direction but stopped when she heard Sebastian chuckle behind her.

“No, no, you can’t go with him,” he said in amusement. “Finny has the gardens to tend to – your duties will be mostly inside the manor.”

Andie reluctantly turned back to Sebastian. He was watching her carefully, also amused at how she’d so clearly singled out the servant who, to her, appeared to pose the least threat.

“Now… If you carry on straight down this corridor,” Sebastian directed. “Turn left at the end and then take the second door on your right. Mey-Rin will be there and she’ll show you what to do.”

Andie shot him a quizzical look. How could he be so sure exactly where the maid would be in a manor this big? Did she follow a schedule down to the last minute? Or was this something else to do with his mysterious, inhuman air?

He seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. “Oh don’t worry, she’ll definitely be there,” he assured. And then, addressing her quietness, he added, “And don’t be afraid to speak up. None of the staff here will bite.”

He then extended his arm in a sweeping gesture, following the curve of the corridor. Andie recognised it as a dismissal and felt that she had no choice but to do as he said. Giving him a timid nod, she followed his directions to seek out the maid.

Sure enough, Mey-Rin was in the exact room he’d indicated. The large oak door had been left open, so Andie hesitated in the doorway as she knocked shyly on the wooden frame to get her attention.

“Oh!” exclaimed Mey-Rin when she spotted her. “Is everything okay?”

“He said to work with you,” said Andie quietly.

There was no question of who _he_ was. Mey-Rin looked positively delighted and bustled over towards Andie. “Of course! Have you done much cleaning before?”

“Um, I’ve done some around the house,” replied Andie.

There it was again – that strange sense of lust coming from Mey-Rin… Was it because of what Andie had just said? Did Mey-Rin desire Sebastian? Andie didn’t understand. How could the maid not feel the overwhelming sensation of evil and darkness that shrouded him?

But either way Andie couldn’t sense anything other than that from her and she seemed more than happy to help Andie try to find her feet. She bustled about showing Andie the right way to make the beds, where to put the used linen, which cleaning substances to use on which surfaces…

As the day progressed Andie relaxed a little. Though she still didn’t trust Mey-Rin’s opinion of Sebastian – and wasn’t ever entirely at ease with her and the occasional bursts of desire she kept picking up when the maid was daydreaming – she was easy to work with and Andie was almost able to forget that there were several men in the same manor.

Mey-Rin didn’t seem to realise how dependent Andie was on other people though. “Would you mind just grabbing some more of the silver polish for me? There’s barely anything left in this bottle.”

Andie looked round from the cabinet she was dusting. They were in one of the smaller dining rooms, where Mey-Rin had pulled out all of the silverware to polish. Andie saw that she was holding up a crumpled plastic bottle with a faded label on the front. She blanched when she processed what she’d said. She wanted her to go on her own?

Mey-Rin noticed her hesitation. “Oh, but I can go instead if you’d rather wait here?”

Andie shook her head quickly. They’d worked in several rooms this morning and she’d already began to realise that some of the rooms seemed to have auras just like people did. This dining room felt particularly gloomy to her – the worst one they’d been in so far. The prospect of staying in here on her own sounded far worse than going to find more polish by herself.

“I can go,” she told Mey-Rin. 

She was sure she knew where the cleaning cupboard was on this floor. Plus it would give her a chance to get some air – she’d discovered that Mey-Rin daydreamed a lot about romance whilst she worked. The feelings had been starting to overwhelm her a little.

“Are you sure? You remember where it is, don’t you?” asked Mey-Rin. Andie nodded. “Alright then. I’ll be waiting here for you.”

Andie set off, feeling a little nervous but also relieved to escape for a bit. The air already felt lighter out in the corridor. Again, she couldn’t help wondering why she could sense these dark things that other people couldn’t…

She soon reached the door she was looking for and opened it, only to find that it appeared to be a guest bedroom. Definitely not a cleaning cupboard… She frowned. She was sure this had been the right way. Maybe she should have turned left off of the main corridor, not right.

She backtracked and went in the other direction instead. It didn’t take her long to realise that this wasn’t right either – this was closer to master Ciel’s study, she was sure of it. And that was in the opposite side of the manor to where the cleaning cupboard was if she remembered correctly… Oh, why did everything here have to look the same?

Andie tried retracing her steps again but she found herself on a corridor she was certain she hadn’t even been down before. She must have turned the wrong way when she was trying to go back… Now she was well and truly lost. She bit her lip, wondering what to do now and trying not to panic. Maybe if she tried looking in some of the rooms along here it might give her an idea of where she was.

She tried the door closest to her and found that it was a large, moderately dusty library. She stared around in awe at the endless shelves of books. She couldn’t read very well but she’d always wished that she could. She’d been told before that reading was a great form of escapism, and escaping her life had always been her deepest desire…

“What are you doing in here?”

Andie jumped and whirled around. The manor’s master Ciel was stood in the doorway behind her with a frown on his face. She shouldn’t have been afraid of him – he was only young; quite a bit younger than herself – but his manner was intimidating and she couldn’t ignore the shadows that followed him. They were nowhere near as intense as Sebastian’s, but dark all the same. Too dark for someone of Ciel’s youth, who was still supposed to be innocent at this age.

“I… I was looking for the cleaning cupboard,” Andie squeaked.

“But the cleaning cupboard is all the way back down there,” said Ciel, his frown increasing. When Andie just shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other without saying anything he sighed. “You got lost on your first day? Unbelievable…” Why did Sebastian always hire such incompetent staff? “Well seeing as there’s nobody else around I suppose _I’ll_ have to show you the way.”

He spoke with a haughty reluctance, making Andie feel even more uncomfortable. “If you just point me in the right direction I’m sure…”

“That you’ll get lost again,” Ciel concluded for her. “Come along, we haven’t got all day.”

Andie had no choice but to hurry after him as he strode back down the corridor. He walked with a grace and purpose that she’d never seen in a person before – let alone someone as young as him. Her two younger brothers were only a few years shy of his age and they still bumbled along in a rather clumsy, endearing fashion. Master Ciel could never be described as either clumsy _or_ endearing.

“Here we are,” announced Ciel, indicating one of the doors on his right. “Now where were you working before this?”

“In the third dining room,” Andie replied softly.

“Do you know how to find your way back from here?” Ciel questioned.

Andie hesitated. She was scared to say so in case she was wrong, but she was even more afraid to say that she didn’t know. She very slowly raised her hand and pointed uncertainly in the direction she thought she was supposed to go.

Ciel’s expression didn’t change. “I think you’ll find it’s that way.” He pointed towards a different corridor, causing Andie’s head to reel. This place was like a maze! How was she ever going to learn her way around here? Ciel sighed again, seeing the lost expression on her face. “Get what you need from here and I’ll show you the way back.”

“You don’t have to…” Andie started to mumble, but he swiftly cut her off.

“My mind will be more at ease knowing you’re not wandering around and neglecting your work,” he said simply.

Andie nodded, taking that as her cue to hurry up and find the silver polish. She sidestepped awkwardly around Ciel into the cupboard and hastily started checking the chemical bottles. She could recognise the shapes of some of the words on the labels, but some of them were still alien to her eyes.

One of them had an image of silverware on the front – that looked like it was the right one. She unscrewed the bottle and sniffed it to make sure. Yes, that was definitely polish. She quickly fitted the cap back on and hastened out of the cupboard.

“Is that all?” Ciel asked briskly. She nodded quickly, worried of bothering him further. “Good, then let’s get you back to work.”

He marched her back to the smaller dining room, where Mey-Rin seemed to have been getting anxious. “There you are; I thought you’d gotten lost!” She noticed Ciel beside her and became flustered. “Oh forgive me, master, I didn’t see you!”

“Actually she _did_ get lost,” said Ciel, enunciating every syllable very deliberately. “You should take better care of your new underling, Mey-Rin.”

“Yes, sir. Of course, sir,” gabbled Mey-Rin, giving him an abrupt half bow as he exited.

“I’m sorry,” Andie said quietly after Ciel had left, sensing that she’d been close to getting the other girl into trouble.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Mey-Rin reassured her. “It’s only your first day. It’s understandable.”

But the next time that they needed more cleaning supplies she made sure that she went with her to get them.


	3. Broken

After the next few weeks Andie felt like she still hadn’t quite settled in yet. She’d learnt her way around the manor, so she could at least get about without getting lost now… But she was still always very aware of the people around her, no matter what distance they kept, and she knew which of the rooms she’d rather avoid being in alone, if at all.

The manor was so dark and some of the murky feelings lingering in the air were so thick that she was beginning to feel like a caged animal. She missed the solitude of the churchyard that she’d always escaped to when she’d needed to clear her head. Strangely, that place had never felt bad to her. Just melancholic, empty…

She still wasn’t entirely certain if she’d made the right decision in agreeing to come and work here. She was endlessly glad that she wouldn’t be sold to men anymore, but her fear of them was still there. And she still felt very uncomfortable having to be around them here at the manor.

What had she expected in coming to live here? Comfort? A place that felt like home? Andie wasn’t even sure of that herself. But whatever she’d been looking for she didn’t know if Phantomhive Manor was it.

She’d still been working alongside Mey-Rin so far. She was dreading when Sebastian would separate them and she’d then have to fend for herself – with nobody but the ghosts of the manor’s past for company. Thankfully, it hadn’t happened yet.

Andie felt a little more comfortable around Mey-Rin than with most of the other people at the manor – women had generally seemed to pose less of a threat – but she still wasn’t entirely at ease with her. The maid’s weak-willed lust always made her head swim and her stomach feel nauseous.

She’d discovered also that Mey-Rin was remarkably clumsy, even without Sebastian around to distract her. She was a potential danger both to herself and those around her, so Andie had to be on alert at all times for things like spillages and falling objects. She couldn’t just allow her mind go blank and withdraw into the state of numbness that she so often found solace in.

Mey-Rin chattered away incessantly as they worked, despite Andie’s consistent lack of response, explaining more procedures to her and praising Master Ciel, Sebastian and the other servants in between. There was much respect and allegiance between the small group living in the manor. Andie just wished she could be more of a part of it.

“Master Ciel’s engaged, you know,” Mey-Rin informed her new assistant. She was balancing on a stool beside a glass cabinet, dusting the top of it. Andie was knelt down in front so that she could clean the glass doors. “To Lady Elizabeth. She visits the manor from time to time.”

Andie always listened to everything Mey-Rin told her – she just didn’t usually have much to say in return. But even she couldn’t ignore that piece of information. “He’s so young,” she said softly.

“Yes, it was arranged between their families when they were children,” explained Mey-Rin, surprised but pleased that Andie had offered some input. “The master’s been through so much for his age. He’s the only one left in his family now.”

That made Andie feel a little guilty. Though she’d always just accepted it, she’d still felt that she’d been dealt an unfair hand in life. But what did she have to complain about when her family were alive and well? She may have had nothing more than a working relationship with her mother, but she knew that her little brothers were there and that they still cared for her…

“Oh no! Watch out!”

Mey-Rin had lost her balance on the stool and thrown all of her weight against the cabinet to try and keep from falling. Andie looked up to see the cabinet topple towards her. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, but she still didn’t have time to react. All that she could register was that it was Mey-Rin’s fear enveloping her, rather than her own…

Andie saw something black blur past out of the corner of her eye and slam into the cabinet. It was Sebastian. He caught Mey-Rin with one arm and used the other to stop the cabinet from falling on Andie. She quickly backed away from him, caught off guard. She hadn’t had chance to prepare for his presence and now she could practically feel the black energy of his crawling across her skin.

Lust then washed over her as Mey-Rin’s fear gave way to desire, still encircled within Sebastian’s arm. He tipped the cabinet back into place and set Mey-Rin down on the floor in the same movement, shaking his head.

“What am I going to do with you, Mey-Rin?” Sebastian sighed.

“I’m sorry, Sebastian!” Mey-Rin wailed, pink in the face, her glasses misting over.

“I don’t think I’m the one you should be apologising to,” said Sebastian, turning to Andie. He saw her stricken expression and pale face. “Are you alright, Andie?”

He reached out towards her and she jerked away. “No, don’t touch me!” she cried. Her skin was still crawling. Surely for him to touch her would mean tainting her too with that dark energy.

“I’m so sorry, Andie,” apologised Mey-Rin, moving towards her. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

“Don’t!” protested Andie, holding her head like she was in pain. “I don’t want to feel anymore!”

Her head was swimming with a black cocktail of lust and some otherworldly darkness. The room felt too hot, the air too thick… It was too much for her to handle – she hadn’t even been able to prepare for any of it. Sebastian had just come out of nowhere and overwhelmed her with his shadowed aura.

Sebastian frowned at her reaction. “Come now Andrea, we’re not going to harm you.”

He moved towards her again and Andie finally snapped. “I said no!” she screamed, pushing away and running from the room.

She’d never said no to anyone before. Her mother had always been there to do it for her if things became _too_ much. The relationship between them may have been abnormal, but Andie was still her daughter and she knew what went beyond her limits to handle – and in turn, Andie had still relied on her. But now she had nobody to say no for her. Nobody to protect her.

She didn’t stop running. Her claustrophobia was setting in. The corridor she was running down seemed to be getting longer and narrower, like a taunting finish line that she’d never reach. An anguished cry escaped her lips and she quickly darted to one side, down the first staircase she saw.

The stairs opened out onto the gleaming marble of the main foyer. Andie had only been vaguely aware of the direction in which she was running. She carried on flat out across the foyer floor until she finally burst outside through the large double wooden doors… But then she couldn’t stop herself.

She tripped down the first of the stone steps, lost her footing on the second and fell. She rolled all the way down, not coming to a stop until she hit the bottom. She instinctively curled up into a ball, holding her head and breathing hard. 

It was okay – she was outside now. She could breathe. She’d escaped.

After a while she began to ache from where she’d rolled down the steps – her shoulders and back in particular. She slowly pulled herself up into a sitting position and rolled her shoulders a few times to get the movement back. The back of the right one hurt especially. She wondered absently if it would be bruised by tomorrow.

“Andie?”

Andie jumped violently and jerked around to see who was invading in on her. It was the young gardener, Finnian. He was carrying a huge sack over his shoulder that looked like it should have been way too heavy for him. He looked very surprised to see Andie sitting on the floor, covered in dust.

“Are you okay?” he asked cautiously, slowly lowering the sack to the ground.

Andie managed to nod. Her heart rate was steadily returning to normal. She couldn’t sense anything from Finnian. Either he was only experiencing positive emotions – the kind that had always evaded her ability – or he wasn’t feeling anything at all. She was visited again by the same feeling that he wasn’t a threat to her.

“What are you doing out here?” asked Finnian.

“Had to get out,” said Andie quietly, hugging her knees.

Finnian trailed carefully over to her, abandoning the sack he’d been carrying. He looked sympathetic. “I thought you were still working with Mey-Rin today. What happened?”

Andie just shook her head. Mey-Rin seemed like a nice enough person, but how could she explain that she couldn’t have an unclouded opinion of the maid when she so desired a man who clearly felt like nothing but evil to her. _Why_ could nobody else sense it when it was so obvious?

Sebastian had said that her empathic abilities were a gift… But how could something that only caused her pain and discomfort be called a gift?

Finnian crouched down in front of her. His expression was sad but open. So innocent-looking. “You can trust us, you know,” he said earnestly. “I don’t know what it is that happened to you to make you so afraid of everyone… But I promise that nobody here will hurt you.”

Andie didn’t say anything. He was being very kind to her. His accent was pronounced, his voice still soothing… And looking into his large sea-coloured eyes she could see the genuine truth behind his words.

But it was those words that she just couldn’t adhere to. She couldn’t trust anyone. She wasn’t even sure she knew how to.

When Andie still didn’t respond Finnian gave her a sad smile. It made her feel a little guilty. He was trying to help her, but he didn’t understand that she couldn’t be helped. She was like a broken toy that couldn’t be fixed. And for once, she wished she could.

Finnian straightened up and Andie latched onto his sleeve as he did. He looked down at her in surprise, still sat on the floor. She was staring at his boots, away from his face. “What is it?” he asked gently.

Andie finally looked up and met his gaze hesitantly. “Can I… watch you work for a bit?”

That took Finnian even more by surprise. “You want to… watch me?”

Andie just nodded, her eyes wide and beseeching. “I don’t want to go back inside,” she said softly. “I want to stay out here.”

Finnian hesitated. He was sure that if Sebastian found out she’d be in trouble – or they _both_ would. But he also had a feeling that Andie didn’t make many requests… So how could he refuse such a simple one?

That was enough to cement his decision.

“Of course you can!” he said brightly. “I’m just going to get rid of this, and then we can go back round to the front of the manor.”

He indicated the giant sack he’d been carrying as he skipped across towards it and hoisted it back over his shoulder. He trotted back over toward Andie and held out his hand.

“Come on,” he said, giving her a friendly smile.

Andie eyed his hand warily. She didn’t like touching people more than she had to, but Finnian hadn’t been anything but kind to her. “Okay,” she said eventually.

She slowly took his hand and then, in one abrupt movement, she was suddenly standing. He’d pulled her up so easily! But despite his small size, Andie wasn’t entirely fazed – she was very petite; men had always been able to shift her about without much effort.

Once she felt steady on her feet she released Finnian’s hand. Her arms were starting to ache from her earlier fall, as well as her shoulders. “Which way?” she asked in her usual soft tone.

In this one afternoon it was the most that Finnian had actually heard Andie speak. He could hear now that she had a very slight lisp to her voice – it hadn’t been as noticeable when she’d only been giving monosyllabic replies. He found it to be quite endearing.

Finnian led the way round to the back of the manor and towards a small enclosure in the corner. He put the sack back down on the ground so that he could open the latch on the gate. Andie helpfully decided to pull the sack over so that Finnian didn’t have to do two things at once, but when she tried it didn’t budge an inch. Even when she pulled with all of her strength.

She frowned. How could it be so heavy when Finnian had been carrying it around without any problems? Was she really just that weak?

Finnian looked back and saw her struggling. “Oh don’t worry, I’ll get that,” he reassured her quickly. He grabbed the sack and swung it into the air like it was nothing. Andie watched, feeling completely lost. She didn’t understand… Had she just imagined how heavy it was?

Inside the enclosure was a tall, ripe-smelling pile of what looked like dirt and dead plants. Andie wrinkled her nose. “What’s that?”

“It’s a compost heap,” Finnian explained, as he emptied the contents of the sack onto the pile. “It’s what you get if you leave dead plants and things to decompose. When you put them on new plants it helps them to grow.”

Andie couldn’t imagine the smelly dead plant matter being good for anything, but then she didn’t know a thing about gardening. “So what do you have to do now?”

“Now I have to go and get more weeds,” said Finnian cheerily, throwing the empty sack back over his shoulder and closing the gate behind him. He was pleased that Andie seemed to be getting bolder by asking more questions. “Let’s go. It’s back this way.”

Andie followed as he led her back round to the front of the manor. He stopped to kneel down alongside one of the flowerbeds, where he started to pull more weeds up out of the ground. Andie watched him interestedly for a while before she interrupted.

“Can I help?”

Finnian looked up abruptly – her words had surprised him again. “It’s okay; don’t feel like you have to.”

Andie shook her head. “I want to. It looks more… interesting than what I do.”

Finnian noticed her hesitation and wondered if she’d been about to use the word ‘fun’ before she’d changed her mind. Truthfully, Andie didn’t find fun from anything anymore. It wasn’t even a concept she really remembered all that well.

“Well if you want to, then sure!” Finnian gave her a positive smile.

“What do I do?” asked Andie, as she came over to kneel in the dirt beside him.

“The weeds are the ones with the leaves that look like this. You hold them as close to the bottom as you can and pull till they come out of the ground. Don’t try from the top or you’ll just pull the leaves off…”

He continued to give her more directions and Andie did everything that he said. Within minutes she’d already pulled one of the weeds from the ground in one piece. The first attempt at gardening she’d ever done! She’d always wanted to do work in the garden. Where she could stay outside for as long as she wanted…

“Do you like it out here?”

Andie looked up into Finnian’s expectant face. “Here?” she repeated.

“You don’t seem to like the manor very much,” Finnian pointed out. “Do you prefer being outside?”

Andie nodded, her gaze returning to the ground as she started attempting to pull up another weed. “I’ve always liked being outside.”

Finnian smiled in response. “Me too. I never used to get to go outside – I didn’t even see the light of day. So now that I can I like to spend as much time as I can out here.”

Andie couldn’t help looking up again, regarding the gardener carefully. She understood the sentiment perfectly. She felt like she’d been cooped up her entire life – from her past situation it was easy to see why. So she wondered why such an innocent-looking young boy felt the same way that she had…

“There you are!”

Andie jumped as if she’d been burned. She hastily scrambled to her feet, turning round with a guilty expression on her face. Sebastian was stood behind them – his expression unreadable, though his tone held the slightest hint of amusement.

“I had a feeling I may find you out here,” he said knowingly.

Finnian jumped to his feet too as soon as he spotted the butler. “Oh, Sebastian! I’m sorry, Andie was just helping me.”

“Yes, I can see,” said Sebastian, his gaze trailing over Andie’s dirty hands and knees. “Don’t worry, Finny. It’s not your fault.”

The way he said it made it obvious that Andie wasn’t going to get off so lightly. She looked up at him reluctantly, feeling uncomfortable. His dark aura was nowhere near as overwhelming out here in the open, but she could still taste his annoyance as clear as if it were her own.

“Now then, Andrea, listen to me… You were hired as a maid and your duties are to be carried out from _inside_ the manor. You can’t just run off outside as you see fit. If you can’t learn to behave then I’ll have to send you back home to your old lifestyle. Now you don’t want that, do you?”

Andie opened and closed her mouth twice. The butler already intimidated her greatly, but his words had shot a spike of fear through her. With that threat in the air she realised that he had even greater power over her than she’d thought. He could very easily send her back to the misery that she finally thought she’d escaped from forever.

She settled for just shaking her head, unable to say anything. Her progress from her time outside had completely vanished and her ability to speak up had disappeared along with it. Finnian watched in dismay as she so obviously retreated back into her shell.

“Good,” said Sebastian. “Now to prevent this from happening again I’ll be splitting you up from Mey-Rin. You’ll be working on your own after today.”

Andie blanched at the thought. As much as the emotions that she picked up from Mey-Rin bothered her, having to work alone was the last thing she wanted. Finnian noticed her reaction and felt a pang of sympathy for her.

“But Sebastian…” he started before Sebastian swiftly cut him off.

“No buts, Finny,” Sebastian dismissed him. “Andie’s going to have to deal with it herself. Nobody else can be expected to fight her battles for her.”

Finnian grudgingly fell silent, though he was still troubled. Sebastian could be scary at times but he wasn’t a bad person. He should have realised how much this decision for Andie to work alone bothered her. Choosing something that clearly upset her so much seemed too harsh of a punishment for her just escaping outside for a little while…

Andie’s gaze was still fixed firmly on the ground. Sebastian knew better than to try and touch her this time, but he raised his voice enough to make sure he had her attention. “Go back inside and get cleaned up. Then you may rejoin Mey-Rin for the rest of the day. She should currently still be working in the East wing of the manor.”

His tone was very final and Andie knew that she couldn’t have argued against him even if she _had_ been brave enough to. And she definitely couldn’t expect Finnian to stick up for her again… She didn’t actually understand why he’d already tried to.

So she gave Sebastian an obedient nod, shyly avoiding the gaze of both him and Finnian, and began to make her way meekly across the grounds and towards the manor. The one time she’d actually said no to someone and it had only caused things to go from bad to worse.


	4. Depression

Though Andie had already been dreading having to work on her own, she hadn’t quite imagined the toll it would take. Being surrounded by nothing but the dark atmosphere of the manor was beginning to have an increasingly negative effect on her.

The little progress she seemed to have made in coming out of her shell had completely disappeared and she now spoke up even less. Finnian and Mey-Rin in particular attempted to encourage her to socialise and talk to people, but if anything she just withdrew even more.

With the cold memories of the manor seeping into her she fell into a state of constant depression. When she was around any of the others she was constantly on edge and jumped at small noises. She felt like she’d gone back beyond even square one. She was sure that she’d never felt quite so unhappy before.

Her appetite completely disappeared and she felt like she was constantly ill and shivery, as if she had permanent flu that she could never shake off. Working at the manor hadn’t been quite so bad to start off with, but now that she had to work alone with nobody else beside her – forced to endure the gloomy echoes of the manor by herself – it was bordering on unbearable.

She was now sure that she’d made a huge mistake in ever coming here. Because surely everything she’d had to deal with back home had been better than feeling… nothing.

It was Monday. The start of a new week. Meaning that it was the day when all of the bed linen needed to be changed over, which was what Andie had spent a good part of her morning doing. Phantomhive Manor had a lot of beds – most of which were generally unused, residing in the many elaborate guest rooms. Even so, they still had to be changed as well. Things that weren’t used gathered dust… And dust was unacceptable under Sebastian’s rule.

Once she’d gone through all of the guest rooms – Ciel’s wing of the manor being the first she had to attend – she headed back down towards the servant’s quarters. Their beds had to be changed too, but the servant’s quarters always had to be left until last. The rest of the manor was more important.

She was grateful that the quarters were empty at this time of morning. Everybody else had gone off to carry out their own jobs, so she knew that she could happily get to work with the reassurance that there would be no interruptions.

Though she disliked having to work in some of the manor’s more sensitive rooms by herself, the servant’s quarters had no lingering emotions behind them. They felt safe to be in on her own. They didn’t feel hostile or depressing like a lot of the manor’s rooms did.

And of course Andie preferred to be alone where she could – when she knew she wouldn’t be harassed by the ghosts of feelings long gone by. Being completely alone was generally more inside her comfort zone.

She was grateful that the beds in the servant’s quarters were small – much easier to change than master Ciel’s giant four-poster bed, as well as the queen-sizes that were in most of the guest rooms. Her back already ached from trying to manoeuvre around such big mattresses and all of the effort was starting to make her light-headed. This was definitely a job done better with two people.

But she’d made her bed and now she had to lie in it. She’d flown her post once so she had to deal with the consequences. Sebastian had made it clear that his rules were to be followed absolutely… Having to work alone was her just punishment for her moment of weakness. She’d accepted that.

Unfortunately, her body didn’t agree. By the time she’d finished changing the sheets on all of the servants’ beds she was sweating, she felt nauseous and her back now hurt even more, as well as her stomach. She sank down to sit on the ground at the foot of her bed – preferring the cool solidness of the hard stone floor to the squashy and uneven hay mattress.

Maybe she really was ill… Though this certainly didn’t feel like the flu. Flu didn’t cramp up your stomach like menstrual pains. Andie wondered briefly if that was the problem. But then that wouldn’t explain why she felt so sick and light-headed. It wouldn’t explain her lack of appetite either. Plus she hadn’t had any other signs of her monthly cycle for weeks now…

Andie froze. Weeks… How many weeks had it been? More than four definitely. Now that she thought about it was sure it was actually coming closer to eight. Oh no… Did that mean she was…

She shook her head furiously, clutching her knees tighter. She was being silly. She must have added up the weeks wrong. It couldn’t be right. Surely it couldn’t…

The doctor had told her that her body showed all the signs of being infertile… But then she’d heard people back in her village saying how doctors didn’t always get it right nowadays. And they said that miracles _did_ happen.

But this wasn’t a miracle. This was a very, very big problem.

She dug her fingers hard into her knees, trying not to panic, desperately attempting to count days in her head… When was the last time she’d had to sleep with a man? It had been Mr. Connors – the same night that Sebastian had first brought her here. But how long ago was that? She couldn’t remember... She hadn’t been keeping track of the days whilst she’d been at the manor.

She moved a hand gingerly to her stomach, feeling even sicker than before. Because of what the doctor had told her she’d never worried about this kind of thing. But she hadn’t felt right for the last few weeks now. Pains, nausea, loss of appetite, disruption of her menstrual cycle… It all added up. 

What was she going to do? She definitely couldn’t stay here. Things would only get worse. She felt a pang of sadness as she realised that the one person that she wanted right now was her mother… But she’d never had that kind of relationship with her and she didn’t know if she’d even be welcome back after she’d disappeared without a word to any of her family.

So where else could she go? Besides here and her old home there really wasn’t anywhere… She was out of options.

Andie raked her fingers through her hair, burying her face against her knees. She’d never felt quite as alone as she did in that moment... She had nowhere to go and nobody to go to. All she had was the knowledge that her body was going to be slowly destroyed from the inside out.

She suddenly scrambled to her feet. She needed to get outside. Now. She felt hot and dizzy… She needed air. An escape. Anything.

She burst out into the grounds through the first door she could find. It was cold outside and raining quite heavily, but she didn’t care. Anything to numb the panic and desperation inside her…

The ground was muddy and she slipped twice as she drifted aimlessly around the perimeter of the manor. The third time she fell completely on her side into a large puddle, the mud soaking straight through into her clothes and her hair. She barely even noticed.

She dragged herself back up and found that she was by the back steps again. The place she’d escaped to the last time that everything had became too much for her. She sank down onto them and buried her face against her legs once more, ignoring the rain and the cold and the world around her.

**XXX**

“Sebaaastian!”

The butler looked round from the table settings that he was so carefully laying out just as Mey-Rin, Finnian and Bardroy came crashing through the doorway together. He sighed and reluctantly straightened up, turning away from his masterpiece in-progress.

“ _Now_ what is it?” he asked. This kind of occurrence happened far too often for his liking.

“We think Andie’s disappeared!”

“Nobody’s seen her since this morning.”

“We’ve looked but we can’t find her anywhere!”

Sebastian sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. _Why_ did his staff always insist on such shenanigans just before mealtimes? They had such unfortunate timing…

“It seems our new maid appears to be much more trouble than I anticipated…” said Sebastian. “Bard, you are still to continue with the preparations for the evening meal. Finny, Mey-Rin… I want you to carry on searching the manor and see if you can find our elusive Miss Frost.”

“Right!”

The servants all jumped to attention and ran off again, splitting in separate directions. Bardroy headed straight back towards the kitchens, whilst Finnian started another circuit search of the ground floor. Mey-Rin went to check all of the rooms upstairs. Sebastian turned back to the table settings, shaking his head. He was sure that if he was human he’d have a nuisance of a headache forming right about now.

Once he was satisfied with his silverware presentation he went to visit Ciel in his study. He knocked dutifully on the door before entering, as he always did. “My lord, I thought I’d inform you that there may be the slightest delay with dinner this evening. Bard’s working to cover up the lapse as we speak.”

“Who was it this time?” asked Ciel simply, not even looking up from the letter he was reading. He knew almost as well as Sebastian did how incompetent the staff could be at times.

“Our newest maid appears to have taken flight again,” replied Sebastian.

Ciel shot him an annoyed look. “Must you always insist on hiring such unreliable staff?”

“On the contrary, my young master… I still believe she has a lot of potential,” countered Sebastian. “She just doesn’t appear to be settling in as well as I would have hoped by now…”

“Then do something about it,” said Ciel shortly. “Why are you telling _me_?”

Sebastian gave him a respectful bow. “Just making you aware of the situation, my lord.”

Meanwhile, Finnian had looped all the way back round to the servant’s quarters and still hadn’t seen any sign of Andie. He stopped and leant against one of the wooden chairs, rocking back on his heels, trying to think of any places that they hadn’t thought to check yet.

He glanced out of the small window in the wall opposite. Could she have left the manor entirely? He hoped not. It was pouring with rain outside.

Outside… Finnian’s gaze never moved from the window. Andie had told him before that she much preferred being outdoors. But surely… Surely she wouldn’t have gone outside in weather like this. It had been raining for hours now.

But maybe it was still worth checking.

Finnian made up his mind and dashed out into the rain, attempting to shield his face from the downpour that assaulted him as soon as he stepped outside. Thankfully he didn’t have far to look. He found Andie sitting on the steps just round the corner, still hugging her knees and hiding her face.

He ran over to the steps and crouched down beside her, gingerly reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. He was almost afraid to touch her – like she’d break if he wasn’t careful. But then that was truer with him than it would be with anyone else.

“Are you okay?” he asked, very gently shaking her shoulder. She didn’t answer or even look up. “Andie, can you hear me?”

When she still didn’t respond he started to become worried. She was soaked through to the bone and her clothes were streaked with mud. What on earth had she been doing? Finnian wasn’t sure what to do… Should he go and find Sebastian? But then he didn’t think that he should leave her alone…

“Why am I not surprised?”

Finnian jumped and quickly straightened up, looking round as he did. As if on cue, Sebastian had appeared behind him. He shook his head, looking exasperated, and moved in between Finnian and Andie so that he could address her properly.

“Come now Andie, you can’t stay out here,” he chastised her.

Andie still didn’t move. She didn’t even hear him. She didn’t even _feel_ him. She’d pushed herself into the coldest, numbest state of mind that she could find. She couldn’t feel anything beyond that. For once, her own emotions had taken precedence over anyone else’s.

Sebastian wasn’t going to be ignored for long though. Disregarding Andie’s usual unspoken no-touching policy, he took her firmly by the arm and pulled her to her feet. Andie didn’t even register what was happening. All she knew was that she was suddenly up and drifting along, as Sebastian guided her back inside.

“Come along, Finny,” he said over his shoulder. “We’ll get you both dried off.”

Finnian obediently followed Sebastian and Andie back into the manor. Once inside, Sebastian steered Andie down towards the boiler in the servant’s quarters and plonked her down into a chair that he slid in front of it. A trail of water was left in their wake. Sebastian sighed. That was even more work to be taken care of…

Finnian watched wide-eyed as Sebastian then produced two large white towels, seemingly from nowhere. “Here we are,” he announced, tossing one over to Finnian. “Try not to get too much water everywhere. It’ll have to be cleaned up afterwards.”

“Right,” said Finnian, clumsily attempting to dry his hair as quickly and as orderly as he could. Strangely, Sebastian didn’t seem to have gotten wet at all.

Sebastian bundled Andie up into the other towel. “Let’s get you dried off too,” he said, briskly rubbing it over her hair.

As the warmth from the boiler started to soak into her, Andie took one end of the towel from Sebastian and started absent-mindedly drying her hair herself. Everything was starting to sink in now – it was all coming back to her. The pains. The anxiety. The damage that one man had done that would affect her entire life…

_Men_. It was men who had done this to her.

As quick as the thought had hit her, the words were out of her mouth before she’d even realised. “Don’t touch me!” she suddenly cried, snatching the towel from Sebastian’s hands as she leapt out of the chair and backed away from him.

The numbness had gone – she could feel everything again. And she could _really_ feel Sebastian now… It felt like the entire room would be swallowed up by the eternal blackness of his soul.

Finnian stared at her, both stunned and concerned. He’d never seen her act like that before… Even Sebastian blinked in surprise at her sudden mood swing. But he recovered from it much more quickly. “Andrea,” he said more sternly, moving towards her. “You cannot keep acting like this whenever you see fit. I expected you to have made _some_ progress by now.”

“Just stay away from me!” Andie begged, clutching the towel tighter around her like it would protect her somehow. “Please… don’t touch me! Don’t come anywhere near me!”

Sebastian _did_ stop in his tracks, but he felt rather annoyed. He knew that Andie had it in her to get past this and put everything that had happened behind her… So why was she still acting so difficult? She really _should_ have made at least a little improvement by this point.

Finnian watched them both worriedly. He didn’t know what was going on… Andie was clearly upset about something, but he really didn’t understand what it could be. The other servants and himself had all noticed at mealtimes that she hadn’t really been eating, but they’d put it down to her just feeling under the weather. So what could have been so bad that it had driven her out into the rain for hours on end?

Whatever it was, Finnian wanted to help. Andie had seemed to trust him before and it was clear that she didn’t trust many people. Maybe he could do something that Sebastian couldn’t… As she definitely appeared to be afraid of the butler dressed in black.

He took a cautious step forward. “It’s okay, Andie,” he said gently. “Just tell us what’s wrong. Maybe we can…”

“No!” protested Andie. “Just keep away, both of you!”

She drew the towel tighter around her, hiding behind it, trying to block out every single thought and feeling inside her head. It had been so much easier when she’d been sitting out in the rain. Just easy, numb nothingness.

Finnian hesitated, unsure what to do. He looked to Sebastian for help, who swiftly took over. “Andie, you’re being silly now. We can’t help you if you won’t let us anywhere near you.”

“I don’t want either of you to help me!” Andie finally burst out. Why wouldn’t these people leave her alone after everything else that had already been forced upon her? “I don’t even want to be here! It’s because of men like you that I ended up like this!”

Silence rang through the room. Andie was breathing heavily, still clutching the towel to her head. Everything hurt. She just wanted it all to go away… She was scared to look at Sebastian after her outburst. But when she looked at Finnian instead she saw the dejection in his face and she knew that she’d hurt his feelings. She wanted to feel guilty, but right now there just wasn’t any room in her for anymore emotion.

Sebastian wasn’t as easy to deter though. He was going to get to the bottom of this once and for all. “Finny, go and let the others know that the search is over,” he said calmly. “No doubt Mey-Rin will still be looking for Andie upstairs.”

“Err, okay,” said Finnian shakily. He hurried off without looking back.

This time Andie really did feel a pang of guilt. The one person she’d even come close to trusting and she’d just taken all of her anguish out on him… It looked like there was room for more pain after all.

“Now,” said Sebastian commandingly. “I want to know what the reason is behind all of this silly behaviour. This can’t keep happening or it will be your position here that’s on the line.”

“I can’t stay here anyway,” said Andie miserably, staring down at her feet.

“And why is that?” pressed Sebastian.

Andie hesitated for a long time before finally admitting, “…I think I’m pregnant.”

For the first few seconds Sebastian looked completely astonished. Then, to Andie’s absolute amazement, he suddenly started laughing.

“It… it’s not funny!” she protested. She couldn’t believe he was laughing at her. After all the torment she’d been through!

“I’m terribly sorry, Andie,” Sebastian apologised, though he was still chuckling. “But what on earth can have caused you to jump to that conclusion?”

He doubted her? Did he think she was stupid enough to have made this deduction without good reason? “I’ve… I’ve been having stomach pains and back pains. I haven’t wanted to eat anything – I feel sick all the time… And I haven’t had my last two…”

She stopped then, feeling a dark flush creeping up her cheeks. Despite everything she’d had to do in her lifetime, discussing menses with a man was still far too embarrassing.

But even now Sebastian still looked bemused. “Andie, I believe your calculations must be off… When was the last time that you engaged in intercourse with a man?”

“The night… that I first came here,” replied Andie hesitantly. That subject wasn’t any less uncomfortable either. And she still didn’t understand what he was getting at…

“As I suspected,” said Sebastian. “That was almost three months ago now. Maybe you don’t understand the cycle of pregnancy very well, but too much time has passed now for the first effects of pregnancy to be showing.”

Andie still looked utterly confused. Seeing the expression on her face he added, “Besides, I saw the rather shamefaced Mr. Connors myself that night when he left your house. Knowing who he is, I can actually confirm that he is infertile.”

“I… But… How did you know that?” questioned Andie, amazed.

“Why, because that was the reason he came to you in the first place. Mrs. Connors wasn’t giving him what he desired because she knew that it would never result in a child,” explained Sebastian, seeming perfectly comfortable with the conversation. “So unless you’ve been engaging in sexual activities whilst you’ve been here at the manor…”

“No, I have not!” Andie objected indignantly.

“Then you most definitely cannot be pregnant,” Sebastian concluded.

Andie still didn’t understand. That didn’t really explain anything. “But… What’s wrong with me then?” she practically demanded.

“Well as you said yourself, you haven’t been eating properly,” Sebastian pointed out. “And the other servants picked up on that too, I hope you know. Food is a necessity for human beings to keep on living. If you don’t give your body what it needs then it will start to have an increasingly negative effect... Including to the extent that it can make you ill and even disrupt your menstruation cycle.”

Andie didn’t know what to say. All of this had happened to her simply because she hadn’t been eating? She’d brought it all on herself? Now she just felt extremely stupid…

Sebastian continued on. “Now we just need to fix the reason that was causing you to lose your appetite in the first place… I understand you’ve been having a problem with some of the rooms in this manor? They’ve been making you unhappy, have they not?”

“Err… yeah,” replied Andie slowly. How did he know that? She’d never mentioned it to anyone before.

“Andie, I want you to know that it’s okay for you to let us know if you have a problem with something,” said Sebastian, more kindly than he had been so far. “This is a working environment for you, but I’d still prefer for all of my staff to be happy. If you’d have said something in the first place then you needn’t have bottled it all up and then taken everything out on myself and poor Finny.”

Now he was making her feel even guiltier. Andie looked down at her feet again. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” said Sebastian cheerily. “I’m sure it’s no damage that a little truth can’t repair.”

Again, Andie was left with nothing to say. Just even more thoughts to deal with. Sebastian laughed again at the baffled look on her face.

“I’ll leave you to it for now,” he decided. “Make sure you dry yourself off completely and clean up in here before you leave the servant’s quarters. We don’t want to have water dripped all over the manor.”

“Okay.” Andie gave him the barest of nods, her voice back to its usual soft volume.

“I’ll see if I can find a solution to your problem with those rooms,” added Sebastian dutifully. “And if you have any further issues then at least speak to _someone_ about it – if you’re still too afraid to come to me.”

And with that he left Andie alone to mull everything over. She obediently continued to dry herself off in silence, feeling extremely relieved that her worrying had all been for nothing. When they had their evening meal later on she was definitely going to make sure she ate as much as she could manage.

She still felt rather silly though. Not to mention guilty that she’d hurt Finnian’s feelings. But Sebastian was right – hopefully with the truth she could fix the damage she’d made… Though that was probably easier said than done.

She didn’t have much time to prepare for it either. Finnian returned whilst she was mopping the floor, bringing the wet clothes that he’d changed out of to put them in the hamper that the servants had separate from the others in the manor. He gave Andie a small sad smile when he saw her, then walked past her without saying anything.

Andie felt a painful stab of sadness. And for once she was positive that this was her _own_ emotion. Nobody else’s.

She made her decision and awkwardly took a step after him. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take all of that out on you.”

Finnian stopped and turned round, startled. He hadn’t expected Andie to even talk to him again after how she’d acted earlier. But no… The shy doll-like girl was actually _apologising_ to him. He took one look at her worried face then gave her a real smile this time.

“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured, as brightly as ever. “I’m sure you just had a lot on your mind.”

Andie realised that he was unintentionally giving her the opportunity to leave it at that and then they’d likely continue as normal… But she felt that she owed him more of an explanation. Even if it was the more difficult choice…

“I… erm…” she twisted her hands together, feeling uncomfortable. “I thought I was pregnant…”

Finnian’s eyes grew wide. “ _Pregnant_? But…” _How_ , was what he wanted to ask… But then maybe that wasn’t the best question. In reality, he didn’t actually know anything about Andie or her personal life. That wasn’t really his place to ask.

However, Andie was finally ready to divulge him. “I’m _not_ actually pregnant… I was just being stupid,” she felt the need to confirm. “Before I came here I was an, erm… I mean…” She groped for the right word but was unable to find it. The people in her village had carefully avoided the words _prostitute_ and _harlot_ around her. “I used to be… sold to men.”

She kept twisting her hands until it was almost painful, feeling like she maybe hadn’t explained it in the best way… But Finnian had definitely understood her meaning. He stared at her in horror. How had such a young girl gotten mixed up into something like that? “But how did you… What I mean is… _why_?”

“Um, well. My mother, she decided…” Andie stopped. That didn’t really show her mother in the best light. She didn’t want to make her out to be the villain in this. “We just didn’t have enough money, especially for my little brothers…” 

Finnian just kept staring at her through big sea-blue eyes. This was it… This was why the girl in front of him had always shut herself off from the rest of the world. Why she rarely ever spoke unless she had to. Why she didn’t trust anyone – why she was _terrified_ of everybody around her…

“I’m so sorry…” he said. What he really wanted was to do more than that… He wanted to comfort her in some better way. Hold her, stroke her hair, pat her shoulder… Anything. But how could he when he now knew why she so feared the touch of others?

What he didn’t realise though, was that it _was_ enough. Nobody had ever said anything to her that they’d meant so genuinely before. And she realised that maybe she really _did_ have somebody whom she could trust. 

So for the first time since she could remember… she actually smiled. “Thank you…”


	5. Hope

Things started to improve for Andie after the pregnancy scare – though she still felt incredibly stupid every time that she thought about it now. Sebastian had held true to his promise of finding a solution to her issue with some of the rooms around the manor and she now had her own room to work from.

She got to work with Mey-Rin again for a lot of the time, after promising not to run out and abandon her duties again. And when she wasn’t still helping with the cleaning work she was given clothes to mend and knitting designs for new garments to follow and create – all of which she would carry out in her new working environment.

Andie had no idea who or what the clothes would actually be used for… They were certainly nowhere near the same high standard of master Ciel’s usual attire. Not to mention a lot of the new designs she was given were so small that they would surely only fit babies or small children…

But it wasn’t her job to ask questions. All she needed to do was carry out the jobs that were given to her. And she did so much more happily than she had with anything else at the manor so far. It was much nicer to be working on her own, especially now that she had somewhere better to work.

The room that she’d been assigned to was one of the vacant guest bedrooms. It was south-facing with a large window, which allowed a good deal of light in no matter what the weather was like outside. On top of that it didn’t hold any lingering negative emotions like so many of the manor’s other rooms that Andie had grown to hate.

No… This room was the perfect environment for her to work from. Sebastian had clearly realised that. And Andie felt much better about being at Phantomhive Manor now. Things were finally looking up.

Or so she’d thought.

A looming black shadow that seemed to creep into Andie’s very being signalled Sebastian’s presence outside her room. Despite what the butler had gone out of his way to do for her, Andie was still very much afraid of him. No amount of nice deeds could erase the blackness from his soul. A blackness that surely could never amount to anything _good_.

“Good afternoon, Andie,” Sebastian greeted her formally, upon entering the room.

“Hello,” Andie replied softly. Though she still much preferred to speak up only when she needed to, Sebastian had begun to chastise her for it. As he’d already pointed out, nobody at the manor was going to bite.

Sebastian gave her an approving smile. “I see that the new arrangement seems to be working well for you.” Andie nodded automatically out of habit, but for once Sebastian didn’t scold her for not responding audibly. “Very good. I actually have a new proposition for you, if you’d care to spare me a few moments…”

Andie’s look immediately turned fearful. Pretty much every other proposition she’d been offered in the past had been of a very specific nature. Was this what Sebastian was hinting at too? This was why she hadn’t wanted to be around men any longer – she’d been dreading the moment that something like this would happen…

Sebastian caught the look on her face before she had the chance to say anything. “Oh I wouldn’t worry, it’s nothing like that,” he reassured her. “I can promise you that nobody here at Phantomhive Manor will ever ask those services of you.”

Andie still wasn’t sure just how much she could trust Sebastian – how she could trust someone who felt to her like evil incarnate – but it was good to actually hear those words. It lifted a tiny bit of the weight that she’d been carrying on her shoulders for the last two years of her life.

“Then… what is it?” she asked curiously. What other kind of proposition could Sebastian possibly want to offer her?

“It’s regarding your gift,” explained Sebastian. “If you remember from when I first hired you, I stipulated that I’d like to help you hone your abilities to the best that they can be.”

Andie remembered. She hadn’t stopped remembering… She just wasn’t sure that it was possible. “Do you think maybe I’d be able to… block stuff out? Things that I don’t want to feel?”`

“Almost definitely,” Sebastian confirmed. “Though if I were you I wouldn’t be making that my priority. Control takes time and patience… Firstly, I believe that we should be working to improve your balance.”

“My balance?” Andie repeated.

“You can perceive only negative emotions, and in turn that has a negative effect on your mind,” Sebastian elaborated. “So it stands to reason that if you can perceive positive emotions then the effects on your mind would also be positive. If you can outweigh bad feelings with good, then you may not feel it so necessary to learn the skills to block emotions out entirely.”

Andie took a few moments to digest everything that he’d said. Was that really possible? He made it sound so easy… But exactly how was she supposed to _learn_ how to pick up on the positive feelings of others? Her ability was one that she’d been born with – that had grown stronger over time. She hadn’t _learnt_ anything. It had simply just happened… 

So she asked just that. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“I’ll teach you,” Sebastian replied. “I have a few ideas that I believe may work… With your consent, we will start planning lessons immediately. That way we can get your abilities developed to their full potential sooner rather than later.”

Somehow Andie had a feeling that it would be a lot more difficult than Sebastian made it sound. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for more mental pressure… She was only just beginning to feel like she was settling here at the manor. 

Plus she knew that these proposed lessons would mean having to spend more, regular time alone with Sebastian. That didn’t really make the idea any less unappealing than it already was…

As usual, Sebastian seemed to follow her thought trail. And he was prepared with another ace up his finely-pressed sleeve. “It may not have become apparent to you yet, but here at Phantomhive we hire people of a certain… calibre, if you will. You fit into this category also, which is why I’m so interested in improving your abilities. However, I do understand that this is not part of your job description, so you are under no obligation to agree to it.”

Andie just stared at him in silence. Where was he going with this? He said that he wanted her to take these lessons of his, but also that she didn’t have to if she didn’t want to? Why would he offer her that option? Surely he’d know that her answer would be no… There had to be more to it.

And there was. “But if you were so inclined as to take these lessons then I’m sure we can come up with a suitable loyalty arrangement. If you show significant progress then I don’t see why you shouldn’t be rewarded for it…”

So he was going to bribe her? But with what exactly? Andie had never had much to her name, so she’d never really been a materialistic sort. And her pay was already more than what she could have ever expected – Sebastian had previously confirmed that her family had been living quite comfortably on it since she’d started working here. So what else could he offer her as a reward?

“I know that you much prefer being outside,” Sebastian continued. “And if you agree to my proposal and do well in your lessons, then I supposed that it would be alright for you to give Finny a hand with the gardens on occasion.”

“…Really?”

Sebastian smiled. It was clear what Andie’s answer would be. Right from the beginning she’d very obviously singled Finnian out from the others as the most harmless. And Sebastian had noticed that recently she’d been clinging to him even more than usual and following him around whenever she could. He had a feeling that she wouldn’t pass up the chance to work with him…

“If you fancied it as a change of pace,” said Sebastian.

“Yes,” replied Andie automatically. “I’ll take your lessons.”

She’d never been so certain of anything in her life. She’d never really had somebody who she could call a friend before… But Finnian had been so nice to her – nicer than anyone else ever had. She wasn’t prepared to let that go. She was going to hold onto it for as long as she could.

“Splendid!” said Sebastian, clapping his hands together. He liked nothing more than when things went to plan. “In that case I would very much like for us to begin as soon as possible. This afternoon even, if you’re feeling up to it.”

Andie chewed her lip. Though Sebastian had came up with the best possible reward scheme for her, it still didn’t mean that she was eager to start the lessons themselves. “And I can go outside after?”

Sebastian smiled again. “The rewards will be dependent on how much you improve on your skills. But seeing how happy you’ve been to agree then yes, you will be allowed outside after today’s lesson.”

Andie nodded. “Alright then. I’ll do it.”

“Excellent,” said Sebastian briskly. “I’ll let you get back to your work for now, and once my schedule has cleared up I will come and find you later this afternoon.”

**XXX**

Though Andie hadn’t had a clue what to expect from Sebastian’s lessons, what she _did_ have to do was certainly not what she’d expected.

The lesson had lasted for an hour. Sebastian had spent the first twenty minutes explaining in full about how her background had caused her mind to create some form of mental block against positive emotions, allowing in only the negative. The old arrangement that her mother had forced her into had only increased her fear of lust, need and desire.

After making her aware of _why_ her gift was so limited Sebastian then gave her a meditation exercise for the rest of the hour, getting her to close her eyes and try to clear her mind. Though Andie was loathed to close her eyes in front of him the exercise wasn’t exactly difficult so she did as she was told, absent-mindedly wondering if this was all she would be doing for these lessons… It certainly wasn’t as bad as she’d feared it would be.

“That’s enough for today,” announced Sebastian once the hour was up. “I believe that the young master has an appointment tomorrow afternoon if my memory serves me correctly, so we’ll schedule the next lesson for the day afterwards.”

“That’s it?” asked Andie in surprise.

Sebastian looked amused. “For now. Remember, you’ve been used to these limits on your abilities for a long time now. We must start small if we want to see some improvement.”

“Err, okay…” said Andie. At least that meant she wouldn’t have to do anything more difficult just yet. “So… I can go outside now?”

“If you so wish,” Sebastian conceded. “Just try and make yourself useful.”

Andie nodded. “I will.” She then headed straight for the gardens.

She’d barely just gotten outside when she heard her name. “Andie?” It was Finnian. He was carrying two big sacks slung over either shoulder. He looked surprised to see her. “Are you… Are you sure you should be out here?” He knew that Andie had already gotten into trouble in the past for being outside when she wasn’t supposed to.

“Sebastian said I could come and help,” Andie replied.

“Really?”

Andie nodded again, though more enthusiastically this time. “Really.”

Finnian beamed. He understood the appeal of being outside better than anybody. He was glad to see that Sebastian was trying to make things easier for the newest member of their little family. “Alright then! Come on, we can go and lay this grass seed out.”

“Okay.” Andie followed the gardener round to the freshly dug patch of soil that he’d clearly been preparing. She watched as he set down the sacks that he’d been carrying. “What can I do?”

“Well we need to cover this patch with the grass seeds,” explained Finnian. “But we have to make sure it’s even, so we need to use… Oh. Wait…”

“What is it?” asked Andie, watching Finnian’s puzzled face.

“I’m not sure where I left the tool that we need,” said Finnian, scratching his head as he tried to remember.

“I’ll go find it,” Andie offered automatically. Like Sebastian had said, she was determined to make herself useful. Though it wasn’t for the butler’s benefit that she was doing it. “What does it look like?”

“Err, are you sure?” asked Finnian. Andie nodded quickly. “Okay… Well it’s on a long pole and it has a flat piece of metal on the end… It’s sort of curved on one side like this.” He attempted to demonstrate with his hands.

Andie paid close attention to what he was saying, trying to visualise this tool in her head. “Okay. I’ll go and look for it.”

She headed round towards where she knew the little gardener’s shed to be. But after a few minutes of going through the clutter it was obvious that what she was looking for wasn’t in there. She should have known… If it had been that easy then Finnian would have known where it was.

She went back to the other side of the manor instead. She knew that Finnian had been working on a different part of the garden earlier this morning – she’d seen him through the window of the room that she’d been working in herself. Maybe he’d left the tool there…

Her guess turned out to be a lucky one. The tool was propped up against the wall, along with a bucket and a small hand spade that were lying on the ground next to it. Andie decided to take everything back with her. Finnian had probably forgotten that these other things were here too and might need them.

She put the little hand spade into the bucket and grabbed the tool with her other hand, taking them back round to where Finnian had started laying out the grass seed. He straightened up when he saw her. “You found it!”

“You left it where you were working earlier,” Andie said softly. She put the bucket down. “I thought I’d bring your bucket and your little spade back too in case you needed them as well.”

Finnian gave her a bemused smile. “Thank you. Though the spade’s called a hand trowel.”

“Oh…” Andie inspected the other tool that was still in her hands. “So what’s this called?”

“It’s a garden hoe,” explained Finnian. “You use it to move soil. But it works for levelling things out too.”

“Oh!” said Andie again, though more interestedly this time. She’d never learnt anything like this before. “Can I try using it?”

“Sure!” said Finnian brightly. “Here, I’ll show you what to do…”

He helped demonstrate to Andie how best to hold the garden hoe and at which angle to drag it to get a better effect out of it. It wasn’t exactly rocket science, but Andie really was a novice when it came to gardening. They hadn’t even had a garden of their own back home.

She normally never would have willingly allowed a male to stand so physically close to her… But like always with Finnian, she couldn’t feel anything at all from him. She doubted that he’d ever had any bad intentions in his life. Instead he just seemed eager to help out and pleased with the sudden interest that Andie was taking in the gardens.

Andie managed to successfully level out a good deal of the grass seed and then helped to embed it more into the soil. The processes of gardening weren’t difficult, but they required a lot more physical effort than she’d expected. Her arms and back were aching by the end of it, yet Finnian hadn’t even broken a sweat.

“Doesn’t it make you tired?” Andie asked after a while. She was now sat on the ground, taking a small break. She definitely didn’t have to do quite this much physical work when it came to maid’s duties.

Finnian laughed. “No, not really.”

Andie watched as he turned over more soil like it was nothing. She remembered how on the first day that she’d came out here he’d easily been carrying around sacks of dead plants that she’d struggled to even move. When she’d first started working at Phantomhive Manor Sebastian had mentioned that the other servants had special abilities of their own. Unusual ones like hers. Did that mean that this was Finnian’s gift?

“You’re strong,” Andie observed out loud.

Finnian looked up again. He could tell from the way she said it, and from how she was watching him, that she wasn’t just making a passing comment. “Yeah,” he smiled, looking a little abashed. “That’s why Sebastian hired me in the first place.”

Andie knew that it wasn’t really her place to ask, but she was suddenly eager to know more about the young gardener that she’d attached herself to. “How did… How did you get so strong?”

Finnian stared at her. Was the shy girl who had once struggled to speak more than two words to anyone really asking him something personal about himself? “Nobody’s ever asked me that before.”

“I’m sorry,” said Andie guiltily, looking away. Maybe it was an unspoken rule that none of them discussed their abilities. “I was just curious. I didn’t mean to…”

“I don’t mind,” Finnian interrupted with a smile. “I was just surprised. Here, let me show you something…”

He put the garden hoe down and sat next to Andie on the grass. He turned his back slightly towards her and lifted up the straw hat that always hung around his neck on a string. Andie could see the characters ‘S-012’ tattooed in black at the nape of his neck.

“What _is_ that?” asked Andie, staring. She’d never seen anything like it before. The characters looked like they were permanently etched into his skin.

“They used to do experiments on me to make me stronger,” explained Finnian, dropping the hat into place again and turning back to face her. He didn’t elaborate on who ‘they’ were. He held out his arms, which were littered with tiny white scars. “They killed all of my friends and they locked me inside for a long time.”

Andie listened in horror, staring at the little dots on Finnian’s arms. How could anyone have done such a thing to somebody as kind and innocent as him? “What… What are they?”

“They gave me lots of injections,” said Finnian. “That’s what made me so strong.” He then smiled. “But Sebastian saved me. He said I could come and work here at Phantomhive Manor. He even let me be the gardener so I could be outside as much as I wanted.”

His comment made Andie feel a little guilty. She’d always viewed Sebastian as the bad guy… But it was clear that he went out of his way to make others happy – he’d saved both her and Finnian from their miserable lifestyles, and it was probably the same case with the other servants as well.

She knew that she still wouldn’t be trusting him any time soon – especially with what she could feel through her gift – but she should probably stop thinking of him as evil… Evil men didn’t try to help other people. Plus the other servants all seemed to have a lot of respect for Sebastian. And Andie trusted Finnian’s judgement at least.

Finnian seemed to know what she was thinking. “I know he frightens you,” he said gently. “I understand why any man would… But Sebastian’s not a bad person. You can trust him.”

“I know. I just… It’s hard for me to trust people,” said Andie softly. “Especially him. You see, I have…”

She stopped herself. She’d been about to explain about her gift and all of the bad feelings that she always picked up from Sebastian… But Finnian had a high opinion of the butler who was always in black. Of the man who had saved him from his misery. She didn’t really want to change that.

“What is it?” asked Finnian, seeing that she’d been about to tell him something.

Andie bit her lip. She didn’t have to tell him about Sebastian in particular, but it seemed only fair that she explained more since he’d already been so open with her. “I have a gift too. I can… feel things from people.”

A confused frown creased Finnian’s forehead. “What do you mean?”

“Like if someone’s sad or in pain or angry… I can feel it like it’s _me_ who’s angry or sad,” explained Andie. “But I can only feel the bad stuff… I’ve never been able to pick up anything good from people.”

“ _Really_?” Finnian had never heard of anything like it.

Andie nodded. “Sebastian’s trying to teach me to develop it more so I can pick up good emotions too. We started on it today. That’s why he said I could come and help you… He said it’s my reward for doing well in my lessons.”

Finnian felt a pang of something that he couldn’t quite distinguish. He was happy that Andie enjoyed helping him so much, but a little sad that that was all her ‘ _rewards_ ’ amounted to. He still couldn’t quite imagine what it would be like to feel everybody else’s pain as well as her own.

But it just made more and more sense why she kept everybody at arm’s length. Yet she never pushed _him_ away… If anything it was completely the opposite. Finnian still didn’t understand why she put so much trust in him, but he’d grown to like the quiet doll-like girl and in turn he just felt all the more protective of her.

“Well I’m always happy to have you help out,” Finnian beamed. “So I hope you keep doing well in your lessons!”

Andie gave him the tiniest of smiles. “I do too.”

“Right…” Finnian clapped his hands onto his knees and got back to his feet. “I’ve gotta get this patch finished before Sebastian comes to see how I’m doing.” He then smiled sheepishly. “Sometimes he checks up on me to make sure I haven’t wrecked anything.”

Andie followed suit and got up too. “Do you think it’ll take long or will it be done in time?”

“No, it should be fine,” said Finnian, grabbing the garden hoe again and inspecting the patch of soil that they’d been covering. “I think we may need some more grass seed though. I’m not sure if this is enough…”

“I’ll go and get some,” Andie offered. She’d seen the spare sacks of it in the shed when she’d been looking for the garden hoe.

“Are you sure? The bags are quite heavy,” said Finnian, concerned.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Andie reassured. Finnian had been really nice to her yet again – she wanted to help out as much as she could. And she certainly didn’t want him to get into trouble with Sebastian.

“Okay then… Just be careful,” Finnian cautioned her. “Don’t hurt yourself or anything.”

“I won’t,” said Andie, heading off in the direction of the gardener’s shed again.

She found out one of the sacks of grass seed, more easily identifiable through her eyes by the image of a sweeping lawn on front of it. It was fairly heavy, like Finnian had said, but nothing that she couldn’t manage. She was able to at least drag it along the ground without too much effort.

It got a little more difficult when she got closer to where they’d been working and had to drag it across the cobblestone pathway. It then got caught on something along the rough surface and she couldn’t move it at all. Andie pulled at it resolutely with both hands. Surely it had to give if she put this much effort into it…

It did. But not exactly in the way that she’d hoped. With the last fervent tug, she heard a loud rip as the sack tore all along one side. She was suddenly able to move it again, but the contents of the sack had now poured all over the cobblestones and more of the seeds were still escaping through the hole.

Andie stared at the mess in dismay. She couldn’t leave this here… She’d get into trouble! She knelt down next to the sack and desperately tried to scoop the grass seeds back inside. But her efforts were in vain. The rip was too large and she was only causing more to fall out…

“Is everything okay, Andie?” Finnian had appeared from around the corner, clearly concerned at how long it was taking his new helper to bring back one sack of grass seed. He looked quite startled to see her kneeling down on the ground.

Andie scrambled back to her feet when she saw him. “I’m sorry! The bag ripped and the seed wouldn’t go back, and it went everywhere. I’m sorry. I couldn’t get it back in the bag; it just made it worse!”

Finnian stared at her, even more surprised by her apologetic rambling and the obviously worried look on her face “Andie, it’s okay! You don’t have to worry about it so much!” He assured her. “We’ll be able to clear it up.”

“Are… Are you sure?” asked Andie, still uncertain.

“Of course!” Finnian gave her a reassuring smile. “We just need to find a dustpan, that’s all.”

“So you’re… not mad at me?” Andie asked quietly, not quite meeting his gaze.

“Why would I be mad at you?” The same confused frown as before crossed Finnian’s soft features again. “Everyone makes mistakes. And it’s not like it’s something we can’t fix.”

“Oh… Okay,” said Andie, looking up a little more hopefully.

Finnian smiled sympathetically at the look on her face and very gently patted her on the head, taking extra care to control his strength. “Don’t worry; I’ve made plenty of mistakes before. Everyone else will back me up on that! Now let’s go and find a dustpan so we can clear this up…”

Andie watched him for a few moments as he turned and headed towards the gardener’s shed, moving her hand up to the spot where he’d patted her head. She wasn’t used to not getting reprimanded for doing something wrong. She certainly wasn’t used to being treated so nicely about it…

Feeling like she now had even more to prove, Andie hurried after the young gardener. She was suddenly determined to be the best helper that Finnian could ever have!


	6. Purity

For the next few weeks Sebastian's lessons didn't progress to anything more difficult than what they'd already been doing, much to Andie's relief. He continued to teach her to mediate more in order to open her mind wider to other emotions, rather than just the painful and frightening ones that she was used to.

As the days went on Andie was able to notice the effect it was starting to have, though she wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She now seemed even more susceptible to other people's emotions than ever. Those that were stronger now hit her even harder than they had before. That wasn't a very welcome change - the stronger emotions were always the negative ones.

But at the same time she'd started to pick up glances of other things that she hadn't felt before. Feelings that she wasn't familiar with... Sebastian explained that they were positive emotions. Happy feelings. Andie could only perceive the barest essence of them, but the whole idea still awed her. It was all very new.

Sebastian had clearly noticed the improvement too, because he'd stayed true to his word and allowed her out to help Finnian in the gardens more and more. Things were finally looking up for Andie. For the first time she actually felt a little more at home at Phantomhive Manor, rather than it simply being a preferable alternative to her old life as a prostitute.

But now Sebastian had a different trial in mind. "There's somebody I'd like you to meet," he'd announced that afternoon.

Andie had felt the familiar spike of anxiety at the suggestion. It was easy enough to tell that she didn't like meeting new people. "Who?" she'd asked worriedly.

"Her name is Lady Elizabeth Midford," Sebastian had explained. "She comes from an upper class family and also happens to be the young master's betrothed."

Master Ciel's fiancé? Andie remembered Mey-Rin mentioning her once before. She didn't understand _why_ Sebastian would want them to meet, but it had still sounded better than she'd first expected. Not only was Lady Elizabeth a girl, but she'd also be younger than Andie herself. So she wouldn't have to worry about the effects of languid daydreams like what she sometimes picked up from Mey-Rin. Plus Andie was quite interested to see what kind of girl would be deemed suitable for the Earl Phantomhive.

"Okay," she'd agreed softly.

"Splendid," Sebastian had replied happily. "She'll be coming round tomorrow for lunch. You will attend to your regular duties as normal and will then join the young mistress for afternoon tea later on. Now you may go back to work."

So Andie had met the next day with even less of an idea of what to expect. Afternoon tea? She'd never had afternoon tea in her life. Surely servants didn't have afternoon tea? This Lady Elizabeth had to be very important, and Sebastian clearly had something in mind for her... But _what_?

"Oooh, afternoon tea?" Mey-Rin asked interestedly. "That sounds nice!"

Andie finished tidying the bottles of cleaning solutions onto the wheeled tray that Mey-Rin had been using. "Have you had afternoon tea before?"

"Oh, no, the staff don't join the noble families for meals!" said Mey-Rin, confirmed Andie's suspicions. "You should be honoured!"

If Mey-Rin had any questions as to _why_ Andie had been invited to have tea with a young noble she didn't voice them aloud. Andie was grateful for it - she wouldn't have known how to respond. She was sure it must have something to do with Sebastian's lessons, but then Mey-Rin didn't even know about those... Finnian was the only one she'd told. Andie still didn't know how to talk to others about her supposed 'gift'.

"What's Lady Elizabeth like?" she asked instead. "Have you met her?"

"Oh yes!" said Mey-Rin. "She's a nice girl, she is. A bit loud, but she loves the young master very much." 

The last part of that comment didn't mean anything to Andie, but Mey-Rin seemed to think it was important. "Oh."

"But you should be going now!" Mey-Rin pointed out. "Sebastian said the afternoon tea was at three, didn't he? You don't want to be late!"

So Andie hurried off to the second dining room, where Sebastian had told her the occasion would be held. The weather was still rather chilly so they'd deemed to have it inside. Andie knocked quietly on the door pane, suddenly feeling more nervous. She still had no idea what this meeting was supposed to be about...

Sebastian opened the door, sending the familiar chill of black over her. "Ah Andie, you're right on time. Come on in." Andie meekly followed him inside. He shut the door behind her and then gestured towards the table. "Let me introduce you to Lady Elizabeth Midford. My lady, this is Andrea Frost."

Sitting at the table was a petite blonde in a dainty hoop-skirted dress decorated with white and orange trim. Her hair was tied up into two elaborate bunches. Andie noted straightaway that she was remarkably pretty, particularly for her age. She was also surprised to see that Master Ciel was sat at the table too, looking even smarter than usual in a brilliant blue dress shirt and tails.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Andrea!" Lady Elizabeth greeted her enthusiastically, but eloquently.

"Andie," the servant corrected her shyly.

"Andie; that's so cute!" Elizabeth exclaimed, clapping her hands together in delight. "In that case you can call me Lizzy!"

"Um, okay. Lady... Lizzy," said Andie hesitantly.

"Just Lizzy, silly," Elizabeth giggled. "You can drop the 'lady' part."

Andie looked nervously towards the young master for confirmation. Was someone of her class really allowed to refer to someone of noble blood without the proper title, even if they'd been given permission? Or was it still deemed inappropriate? Ciel simply rolled his eyes though, giving no indication as to whether or not it was acceptable.

Sebastian made no contribution to her plight either. "Please take a seat, Andie," he encouraged her instead.

Andie did as she was told, still feeling apprehensive. Surely most servants didn't get to enjoy afternoon tea alongside those of noble heritage... So why her? What exactly could this possibly have to do with Sebastian's lessons? Did Lady Elizabeth maybe have a gift too?

Sebastian pulled a wheeled tray over to the table - one much nicer than what Mey-Rin had been using for the cleaning solutions. He laid out three delicate teacups embossed with a light pattern of flowers, along with their matching saucers. He then picked up the teapot and began pouring out measures of the steaming, aromatic mixture inside.

"This is a rosebud blend, originating from East Asia," Sebastian enlightened them as he dallied out the tea equally. "It's made from a mixture of rosebud and chrysanthemum. I think you'll find the taste is quite sweet. It's recommended for a natural and glowing complexion."

None of what Sebastian had just said made any sense to Andie - she'd never even realised that the conventional British drink could be made of anything other than standard tea leaves - but she awkwardly picked up the cup with both hands and gingerly took a sip.

The liquid was hot and burnt the roof of her mouth as it passed over her tongue. The heat was quickly overridden though as a sweet, floral taste filled her mouth. It put her in mind of fragrant flowers. It was unlike anything she'd ever tasted before... It was delicious!

"Oooh, this is lovely! Thank you, Sebastian!" Elizabeth enthused. "Do you like it, Andie?"

Andie nodded automatically, but then she noticed Sebastian shoot her a cursory look. Oh yes, he was still encouraging her to speak up more. So for his benefit she awkwardly added, "Yes. It's very nice."

Her response seemed to please Elizabeth as well as Sebastian. "Aww, you're so cute!" she exclaimed delightedly.

Andie wasn't sure how to respond to that. _Cute_? She ended up busying herself by taking another sip from her tea instead. She took care not to burn her mouth this time. It really was tasty. So sweet, yet fresh... It reminded her of being outside in the gardens.

"So how long have you worked here for, Andie?" Elizabeth asked interestedly.

"Err..." Andie looked to Sebastian again for help, though this time it was because she wasn't sure of the answer. It was only more recently that her days had stopped feeling like they all simply merged into one. Only recently had she been able to pick out particular events or moments from certain days, rather than remembering them all as one long dull blur.

"It's been roughly four and a half months now," Sebastian answered for her, somehow instantly understanding her dilemma. "I'm afraid Andie's not much of a timekeeper herself."

"Wow, that's quite a long time!" exclaimed Elizabeth. "So do you like it here? What's your favourite thing about the manor?"

Surprised again by the genuine interest Lady Elizabeth seemed to have in her, Andie had to hesitate longer than usual to come up with her answer. "Well... I like the gardens..."

Elizabeth clapped her hands together again, gleefully. "Oooh, really? So do you like flowers? What's your favourite?"

"Um... I like daisies?"

Andie was bowled over by the multitude of questions and the still unrelenting fascination aimed at her. Elizabeth's enthusiasm never seemed to waver as she continued to quiz Andie about her life at Phantomhive Manor. Ciel chose to observe and continue to sip at his tea, rather than participate. Sebastian stood quietly on the sidelines too, occasionally refilling their teacups when they came close to emptying.

Andie tried to answer Elizabeth's questions as best as she could. She'd never had someone ask her quite so many things before. She generally preferred to remain as quiet as possible and survey everyone else in silence. She was sure she'd _never_ spoken to anyone about herself this much before. She'd never even realised she had so many things to tell until the questions had been asked...

But for some strange reason she felt comfortable talking to this strange upper class girl and didn't mind answering her questions. Even with Ciel and Sebastian present, she somehow felt calmer around them too. Much calmer than usual.

Lady Elizabeth struck her as odd and a little on the loud side... But she wasn't at all unpleasant. In fact, Andie found her quite easy to be around - something she rarely ever encountered with strangers. There was a sense of something to Elizabeth that Andie could almost feel. Like the darkness she could always sense from Sebastian...

Only this was something different. It was actually quite the opposite. Andie wasn't entirely sure what it was, but it wasn't dark at all... It was refreshing. It was _pleasant_.

Elizabeth still didn't seem to have exhausted herself of questions even when they'd eventually drank their way through the entire teapot. It had actually taken a surprisingly long time, Andie thought - it clearly held much more liquid than she would have guessed.

As Sebastian replaced the teapot back on the wheeled tray, Ciel finally spoke up. He'd let Elizabeth take the reins on conversation until then. "Now then, Elizabeth, I think you've quizzed her quite enough..."

"Ciel, I've _told_ you. Call me _Lizzy_!" Lady Elizabeth protested. "And you don't mind, do you Andie?"

Andie wasn't at all perturbed by the upper class girl's presumptuous response. She was actually right - she hadn't minded at all. It was strange... She normally really didn't like talking so much. Especially about herself. What was it about Elizabeth that made her feel different?

Still, Andie shook her head. "I don't mind."

"See, I told you!" Elizabeth told Ciel, looking pleased.

"Well as long as she doesn't mind, then I suppose it's not doing any harm..." Ciel conceded, mollified by that. He knew better than anyone how overwhelming his fiancé's personality could be.

He and Elizabeth were clearly very different, but it didn't seem to cause either of them any problems. Andie had little to no understanding when it came to love, but it was obvious even to her that Lady Elizabeth completely doted on the young master. And in turn he seemed very content with the bubbly blonde's company.

"How long have you..." Andie found herself starting to ask, surprising even herself. It was unusual enough for her to answer questions about herself so readily, and even more so for her to be the one to instigate conversation. It made her hesitate.

Strangely, Ciel was the first to notice and encourage her. "It's alright," he assured her, though still somewhat indifferently. "What were you going to ask?"

"Um... I wondered... how long you've been engaged?" Andie asked shyly.

Ciel looked a little surprised at the question, whereas Sebastian simply gave her a pleased nod for taking some initiative. Elizabeth, however, was positively ecstatic. "Oh, you're so sweet to ask! It was arranged by our parents when we were little - we've been engaged for four years now!"

It was quite a long time, particularly considering how young the two of them still were. Andie was a little taken aback by it. So it had been organised by their parents. Yet they both seemed content enough with the arrangement. Andie knew what it felt like to have a future decided by a parent... But not what it was like to be happy with the decision.

"And we all lived happily ever after," Ciel concluded, his tone laced with sarcasm. "Well that was the last of the tea... So I guess we should finish up here."

"Quite right, my lord," agreed Sebastian. "You wouldn't want to spoil your evening meal. My lady, you are more than welcome to stay for dinner as well, so please feel free to make yourself at home until then. The young master still has his violin practice to attend shortly."

"Oh yes, I'd love to!" replied Lady Elizabeth happily.

"Splendid," said Sebastian briskly. "As for you, Andie, you're dismissed. You may go and assist Finny in the gardens."

Andie brightened. "Really?"

"Really," repeated Sebastian, sounding almost amused. "Just remember that you must dismiss yourself appropriately, considering present company."

Andie nodded and climbed down from her chair. She turned and awkwardly bowed towards Elizabeth and Ciel. "It was nice meeting you," she told Elizabeth, the perfect figure of politeness. Even Sebastian looked mildly taken aback by it.

"It was nice meeting you too!" Elizabeth beamed. "We'll have to have tea again!"

Andie looked towards Sebastian for confirmation. As a mere servant, she knew that it wasn't up to her. Sebastian seemed happy enough with the idea though. "That shouldn't be a problem. We can make arrangements on your next visit."

"Great! Then I'll see you next time, Andie!" Elizabeth smiled brightly.

For a second it looked like Andie was almost going to smile back, but instead she simply nodded again. "See you next time."

Elizabeth watched as Andie scuttled off out of the room. "She's awfully quiet, isn't she?"

"Believe it or not, that's quite possibly the most talkative I've seen her," said Sebastian.

" _Really_?" said Elizabeth disbelievingly. "Does she ever smile at all?" Ever since Ciel had stopped smiling Elizabeth had begun to notice the same in other people too.

"Not that I've seen," admitted Sebastian.

"On the contrary though, she never seems to cry either," Ciel interjected, sounding rather bored with the conversation again. "She doesn't really _do_ anything."

"Besides show fear," added Sebastian. "Andie doesn't like being around people much. That's partly why I wanted her to have tea with you, my lady - I felt it would be healthy for her to become acquainted with someone outside of the manor. And who better than someone as lovely as yourself?"

"The poor girl..." said Elizabeth sympathetically. She didn't even pay any mind to the butler's compliment. "She's really _that_ scared of people?"

"I'm afraid so," Sebastian confirmed. "She lived quite a difficult lifestyle before she came here, which I'm trying to help her overcome. She's particularly afraid of men - including the young master as well - but she even shows unease around Mey-Rin."

"So she doesn't even get along with the other servants?" asked Elizabeth, dismayed.

"Most of them, no," agreed Sebastian. "She tends to avoid Bard and Tanaka for the most part... But she _does_ have quite an attachment to Finny. No doubt she finds his bumbling, incompetent nature the least threatening."

"Oh, _really_?" Elizabeth looked thoughtful. Ciel knew that look well - it meant that she was plotting something...

"Of course," said Sebastian amusedly. "Why else do you think her face lit up when I said she could go and help out with the gardens?"

It was true. Though Andie wasn't sure _why_ she was being allowed to go and help Finny outside. The opportunity was generally offered to her as a reward for doing well in Sebastian's lessons... But she hadn't _had_ a lesson today. The only thing out of the ordinary had been having tea with Master Ciel and Lady Elizabeth, but then that had felt like an unexplained treat in itself.

Either way though, Andie definitely wasn't complaining. She hurried on towards the closest doors that led to outside. She actually felt unusually light-hearted. It was strange... There seemed to be a definite spring in her step that hadn't been there before. Perhaps it was to do with something that had been in the tea?

It didn't take her long to find Finnian. When Sebastian had come to give them their daily tasks that morning he'd told Finnian to spend the day pruning all of the topiary trees, meaning that Andie knew exactly where he'd be. Sure enough, she spotted him out on the west side of the manor. 

"Finny!" she called out as she ran over to him.

Finnian was so surprised that he dropped the pair of shears he was using. He turned, thinking that he must have heard wrong and that it had been someone else... But no, it was definitely Andie. He'd never heard her call out to anyone like that before. She hadn't even ever addressed him by name - she tended to simply pull on his sleeve if she wanted to get his attention.

"Is everything okay?" he asked uncertainly, as he bent to retrieve the shears. She didn't _seem_ like there was anything wrong, but it was just so unusual for her to have called out to him that way...

"Sebastian sent me to help," replied Andie, nonplussed.

There was definitely something different. There was something... _positive_ about her. She seemed brighter-eyed and almost like she was bouncing on the soles of her feet. If Finnian hadn't known any better he'd have said that she was in good spirits. He'd _ever_ seen Andie in good spirits before. She was always so quiet and shy... Yet now it was practically radiating off her that there was something different today.

Finnian suddenly beamed at her. How wonderful it was to finally see her in a good mood. "Alright then! Here, I have a smaller pair of pruning shears that you can use. Now where did I put them..."

"Is this them?" Andie ran and fetched a small tool from the ground by one of the other topiary trees. She was used to Finnian's habit of constantly misplacing things.

"That's it!" Finnian smiled. "Now we just have to go round and cut off any twigs that are sticking out. Let's see..." He looked around the tree, trying to find part of it that he hadn't covered yet. "Like this!"

He found a wayward twig that was protruding from the body of the tree at an odd angle. Using the shears he was carrying, he snipped it clean off and then tossed it into one of the sacks at their feet. "Now you try!"

Andie sought out another odd twig and copied exactly what Finnian had done. Though they were smaller, the other shears still cut through the woody material easily. "Like that?"

"That's great!" Finnian replied encouragingly. "And you just throw the pieces in one of the bags." Andie did as he said. "Now just choose a tree and keep on doing the same thing!"

It was a very simple process, Andie thought to herself as she picked out a different tree and set to work tidying up the mismatched branches. But there really were a lot of trees, so no wonder it took such a long time to cover all of them.

Normally she didn't like tasks that were so repetitive - it gave her too much time to think. And Andie only really had negative memories to dwell on... But she didn't mind mundane jobs when working with Finnian. She felt much safer out here with him.

After he'd finished the tree he was working on, Finnian moved on and started on one next to Andie's. She'd just been stretching up to try and reach a particularly high rogue twig when the strangest sensation washed over her, distracting her from her concentration.

It was similar to the unusual feeling that she'd picked up from Lady Elizabeth. Only this time it didn't just prick at her senses - instead it enveloped her in a warm shroud of unfamiliar emotion. It felt like something pure, innocent... Something _good_. How peculiar...

"Do you need a hand, Andie?" Finnian suddenly asked, seeing her struggling. It effectively interrupted her thoughts and the odd sensation vanished just as quickly as it had occurred. "If you can't reach properly there's a set of ladders over there that you can use. Do you want me to bring them to you?"

Still a little dazed, Andie looked in the direction he was pointing. Her mind cleared a little when she spotted the small set of stepladders and she shook her head. "I don't like ladders."

"Oh, you don't like heights?" Finnian guessed, looking sympathetic.

Andie shook her head. "No, I don't mind them. Ladders just make me feel wobbly - they don't feel safe."

"Well if you don't like ladders you can sit on my shoulders and we can do it as a team?" Finnian offered helpfully. Though as soon as he said it he realised what a stupid suggestion it was. Andie generally went by a strict no-touching policy - that would likely be a bit much for her. "Err, or I could..."

"Okay," said Andie suddenly, much to his surprise. She'd never really done anything as part of a team before. She wanted to try it.

"Oh, err, okay then!" said Finnian, his enthusiasm outweighing his surprise. Andie _had_ already seemed a little different today after all. Plus she seemed to trust him more than she did anyone else. He had to encourage her where he could. "Here, if you stand there then I'll give you a hand up..."

Finnian crouched down beside the tree and helped Andie climb up onto his shoulders. He was only slight - not much taller than Andie herself - but she marvelled at the strength she could feel in his small frame. She wondered if her weight was anything to him. Did everything he lifted feel feather light? Or did he still feel the weight, but it just wasn't a burden to him?

"Are you ready?" Finnian asked.

"Ready," said Andie, one hand gingerly holding onto Finnian's head and the other clutching the pruning shears awkwardly to her chest.

"Right, here we go!"

He straightened up easily with no effort at all and Andie felt herself lifted smoothly into the air. She wasn't really that high up but she still looked around interestedly, amazed at how different things looked just from being that little bit higher. She'd used to pick her younger brothers up on her shoulders too when they were small, but she'd never been on this side of the game before. It was something so simple... But it was _fun_.

"Is that better? Can you reach now?"

Andie remembered then that they were doing this for a reason. It wasn't a game - she was supposed to be working. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she said quickly, almost hitting Finnian round the head with the shears in her haste to get back to work.

"Are you okay? I can put you back down if you don't like it?" Finnian suggested concernedly, mistaking the reason for her hesitation.

"No, I do!" said Andie hastily. She didn't want him to put her down yet. "I like it. It's fun - I feel tall!"

Finnian laughed, pleased that she finally seemed to be enjoying herself for the first time since she'd came to work at Phantomhive Manor. It was particularly nice that she was so enthusiastic about something so simple. "Alright then, in that case you can do _all_ of the high parts!"

Andie felt that strange feeling wash over her again, even stronger this time. It felt warm and positive and _so good_... It _had_ to have been something to do with the tea that Sebastian had given her. What else could it be? She hadn't done anything else out of the ordinary today...

Either way, she was going to find out. She wanted to experience this feeling again and again. One way or another, she was _going_ to get hold of more of Sebastian's magic tea!


	7. Progress

Andie waited until later in the afternoon. She needed to time her plan perfectly. Her routine life at Phantomhive Manor had helped her to pick up on and remember certain things, like the daily schedules of the other servants, for instance. She knew that at this time of day, Sebastian would be attending the west side of the manor - far away from where she wanted to go. That was exactly what she needed. The last thing she wanted was for Sebastian to catch her in action.

She'd blitzed through her knitting patterns, making sure she'd already completed a decent amount before she took off on her mission. She knew that what she was planning would definitely get her into trouble if she was caught. She wouldn't give Sebastian another reason to tell her off by slacking on her work as well.

She waited until after she could hear a distant clock chime the hour from somewhere down the corridor, before abandoning her room and heading off towards the kitchens. Bardroy was working, but Andie wasn't too concerned about that. The chef tended to leave her alone for the most part and she didn't really view him as much of a threat anymore, even if she still wasn't too comfortable talking to him. Plus he was clattering about loudly with pots and pans, so she reckoned she could conduct her search around him without him even noticing.

She was determined to find what she was looking for. The strange feelings she'd been picking up on yesterday had dimmed as the hours wore on and by this morning, she couldn't feel it anymore. Besides the usual darker emotions that she now expected - lustful daydreams from Mey-Rin and the ever looming shadow of Sebastian's black presence - she couldn't feel anything. Not anything good.

It was that magic tea of Sebastian's that had caused her to experience such wonderful things yesterday. And she was going to make sure she experienced them again.

As Bardroy bustled around near the stove, Andie snuck along the other side of the cabinets, peering over worktops and quietly peeking inside the cupboards as she moved. She had no luck along this side. All of the cupboards and drawers were just full of pots, porcelain and utensils. All the things you used to prepare food and drink - nothing that was actually edible.

She waited for the chef to finish pouring generous portions of carrots and parsnips into the giant pot on the stove top, then move along to start tipping the utensils he'd used into the already full sink. Whilst he was occupied, she crept along towards the stove, looking in a few of the cupboards there, but she still found nothing. Where did Sebastian keep the tea? Was it locked away somewhere because of its magical properties, in order to stop anyone from doing exactly what she was doing now?

As Bardroy moved back and forth around the kitchen, Andie did the same, always staying out of his line of sight and quickly ducking behind something whenever he turned. She kept at a crouch at all times, concealing herself behind worktops and cupboards. Though the chef had always been nothing but friendly towards her, she still didn't want to risk the possibility of getting into trouble. This was a surprisingly daring plan of action for her and already her stomach was knotting at the thought of getting caught out.

What Andie didn't realise was that Bardroy knew she was there the entire time. As a former soldier, he'd been trained to be on high alert at all times and, even though his laidback attitude suggested otherwise, you never lost traits like that. That state of being was as much a part of him as breathing was. He'd been aware when someone had entered the kitchen, though when he hadn't then been bombarded with criticism, he'd known that it wasn't Sebastian. Then when nobody else had tried to engage him, he'd been even more confused.

He'd quickly established who it was. He'd noticed every movement of Andie's through his peripheral vision, even if he didn't give that knowledge away. He wasn't too concerned once he realised that it was Andie sneaking around, but he did wonder what she was doing. Was she hungry? She hadn't exactly eaten much at lunchtime, but then she never did. He decided to leave her to her devices for a little while so that he could maybe figure out what she was up to.

Though after multiple times of turning to see her slip behind another corner and then spotting her small hands feeling along one of the worktops, probably thinking she was being inconspicuous, his curiosity got the better of him. "Alright, what exactly are you doing down there?"

Andie let out a small squeak, jumping so much that she nearly hit her head off the cupboard she'd been hiding behind. She straightened up guiltily. "Nothing."

"Nothing, huh?" Bardroy raised his blonde eyebrows. "You hungry or something? Sebastian doesn't like us to snack during the day, but I can get you something if you want."

Andie just quickly shook her head with wide eyes, looking ready to bolt. Bardroy sighed. He knew she was scared of him, though he'd never quite understood why. He knew nothing of Andie's abilities or the past that had gone with them. The only consolation he took from thinking it was personal was that she always seemed scared of Sebastian and Tanaka too and that she didn't even appear all that fond of Mey-Rin. Finnian was the only one she seemed to trust.

Bardroy glanced up at the clock on the wall. As long as this didn't take too long, then he'd still have enough time to prepare the stew for tonight. "Look, I need to go grab something. Can you watch the stew for me till I get back?"

"The stew?" Andie squeaked, half terrified, half confused.

"Just make sure it doesn't boil over. I won't be long. Can you do that?"

Andie managed a small nod and obediently moved closer to the stove so that she could watch the stew's progress. Resisting the urge to shake his head, Bardroy left her to it. He hadn't finished adding all of the ingredients to the stew to start cooking yet. He wondered if she'd realise that the stove wasn't even switched on.

He strode along quickly, hoping that Sebastian wouldn't catch him out of the kitchen, heading straight for the nearest door that led out onto the grounds. Finnian wasn't too difficult to track down - he often left a path of destruction in his wake. Sure enough, Bardroy only had to follow the chaotic trail of leaves around the edge of the manor to find the young gardener attempting to replant a small patch of trees that likely hadn't been half as crooked before they'd been pulled up.

"Oi, Finny, your girlfriend's been sneaking around in the kitchens."

Finnian looked up, his eyebrows pulling together. "Huh?"

"You know, about this high, would follow you around everywhere like a lost puppy if Sebastian let her," said Bardroy dryly.

Finnian flushed. "She's not my girlfriend. And what's she doing in the kitchens?"

"That's what I'd like to know," said Bardroy. "Why don't you go and see if you can find out what she's up to?"

"Me?"

"Well, she likes you, doesn't she?" Bardroy shrugged. "She wouldn't talk to me and I didn't wanna get her in trouble with Sebastian or anything. I don't think she was causing any harm, but I'm gonna end up tripping over her if she sticks around."

Nonplussed, Finnian put down the half a tree that he'd been holding. "Alright. I'll see if I can find out what's going."

"Atta boy." Bardroy leant back again the wall and fired up a cigarette. "Here's your head start. Don't take too long though, because I'm sure Sebastian will figure out soon enough if I haven't been working."

"Got it!" Finnian nodded.

He ran across the grounds towards the kitchen quarters. He wondered why Andie would be hanging around there. She usually tended to avoid Bardroy, like she did with pretty much everyone else. When he got to the kitchens, he found Andie kneeling on a stool that she'd pushed over to the stove, peering inside a big metal pot that sat atop it. She looked up hastily when she heard the squeak of Finnian's wellington boots against the tiled floor.

"Hey, Andie," he said reassuringly. "What are you doing?"

"He said to watch the stew."

He obviously meant Bardroy. Even Finnian could see from one glance that the stove wasn't actually on. Andie had probably been frightened and just done whatever he'd told her. "I mean what are you doing in here? You never come into the kitchens."

Andie flushed and said nothing.

Finnian crossed the kitchen towards her. "It's okay; you can tell me," he said kindly. "I won't tell Bard or anyone else. Did you need something? Did you want something to eat?"

Andie started to nod, but then shook her head instead. She looked down, casting her gaze to the floor before finally admitting in a quiet voice, "It's the tea."

"Tea?" Finnian repeated, baffled.

"We had tea yesterday with Lady Lizzy," Andie mumbled. "I just wanted to try some more."

Finnian smiled sympathetically. It was such a simple request. "That's okay; we can find you some tea. Look, Bardroy keeps the pot over here..."

He made to turn away, but Andie hopped down from the stool and caught hold of his sleeve. "It's not that." She'd already checked the pot in question and knew that it only contained regular old tea leaves. "It's a... special tea. It must be hidden somewhere."

Finnian's forehead creased into a puzzled line. "I don't think Sebastian hides any of the tea. Even the expensive ones."

Andie wasn't sure how to explain it to him. If there was one thing she knew, it was that she could trust him. She just didn't know if he'd believe her. As she looked up into those large sea-coloured eyes, she could see that, despite his obvious confusion, he was still earnest to help her. Even if he didn't believe her, at least she knew he'd never make fun of her.

Feeling somewhat silly, she lowered her voice. "It's magic tea."

"Magic tea?" Finnian asked, eyes wide.

"I know it sounds strange, but after we had it yesterday, I felt... wonderful. I just wanted to feel that way again," Andie admitted shyly.

Finnian had to agree that the idea sounded absurd, but at the same time, he couldn't deny that there'd been an incredibly noticeable difference in Andie yesterday. Could it really be possible that the tea had magical properties, like Andie believed? Whether it was or not, she clearly wanted it really badly. If it was going to make her happy, the least he could do was help her to find it.

He smiled. "It doesn't sound that strange. I'll help you find it. Come on, we'll have a look in the pantry."

He headed straight for the storage cupboard at the back of the kitchen before Andie could even thank him. She watched his back in surprise before hastily following him into the pantry. For storage, it was reasonably sized and filled with shelving units, all lined with various boxes and packets of dry foods, tins and cans, seasonings, bottles of oil... There was so much stuff that Andie was sure that half of it must never get used.

"What do you think it'll look like?" she asked.

"I think the tea usually comes in boxes," said Finnian, picking one up to inspect and then casting it aside.

Andie determinedly attempted to do the same. She picked up the first box she saw and tried to establish what it was by the shape of the words and the small picture on the front. It looked like a sprig of wheat - that probably wasn't going to be anything to do with tea. She put it back on the shelf and then picked up the next box, doing the same again.

"Did Sebastian say what flavour the tea was?" Finnian questioned. "That might help us to find the right one."

Andie frowned, trying to remember. She hadn't thought the flavour would be important at the time. "I think he said it was rosebud."

"That should help," said Finnian cheerfully, continuing to search. Andie did the same, though much slower. When Finnian looked back at her, she was staring hard at a plainly labelled box. "Andie, are you alright? That's stock; that's not tea."

"Oh." The box of stock cubes had no picture on the front. She replaced it on the shelf. "Sorry."

Finnian looked at her in surprise. "Can't you read?"

Andie flushed, looking down at the floor. Had it been that obvious? "I never learnt. Some words look familiar, but it's easier for me to look at the pictures of things."

Finnian guessed she hadn't exactly had a normal upbringing. He gave her a reassuring smile. "Well, if you prefer to go by pictures, then just do that. Try looking over here. That shelf is for cooking ingredients."

"Oh." Andie turned towards the opposite shelf he was indicting. "Sorry."

"You don't have to apologise," he assured, patting her on the head as he moved past her. "I'll have a look on these high shelves up here."

Andie picked up another box. This one was clearly decorated with a picture of a cup and saucer in the corner. Now she seemed to be on the right track. She turned the packaging over, trying to establish whether there was anything printed on it that would indicate the flavour. If there was, it wasn't anything she could understand. She sighed and turned to Finnian to ask for his help, when she noticed that the shelving unit he was trying to reach on his tiptoes was swaying precariously.

"Watch out!" she gasped.

Finnian looked up just as the shelf started to topple. He pushed Andie out of the way, probably with more force than he intended as she hit the shelves opposite, then hastily backed away as the shelving unit came crashing down, scattering boxes and sachets everywhere. "Err, oops!" He rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. "Sorry about that, Andie. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Andie shook her head quickly, more concerned about the fact that the unit had landed on his feet. She scrambled over the mess on the floor. "What about you? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," said Finnian, nonplussed. He grabbed the side of the shelving unit and lifted it back into place with ease.

Andie watched him uncertainly. "Didn't it hurt your feet?"

" _Oh_." Finnian understood her concern. "My boots have steel toe caps, so I didn't feel anything."

"Steel?" Andie repeated.

"Yeah, they're completely solid." Finnian tapped the heel of one of his wellington boots against the toe of the other. "See? Look, you can even stand on them and I won't feel it. Try it."

He held his hands out to her. Still feeling unsure, Andie gingerly took his hands and stepped up onto the toes of his wellingtons. Sure enough, they were solid. She might as well have been standing on rocks.

"Sebastian got them for me," Finnian told her brightly, keeping her balanced with his hands. "He thought it might be a good idea since... well, since I tend to knock a lot of stuff over." 

Andie had to admit it was a good point, though she didn't mind that Finnian was clumsy. Just as long as he didn't end up hurting himself. Especially when he'd been trying to help her. "I'm glad you didn't get hurt."

Finnian's eyes widened in surprise, but he looked rather pleased. "Thanks, Andie."

"What on earth has happened in here?"

They both jumped and Andie all but fell off Finnian's boots. Sebastian was standing in the doorway. He did not look impressed. Andie felt her heart rate start to increase as panic threatened to overwhelm her. Once again, she hadn't even sensed him approaching. His dark aura frightened her enough as it was - it suddenly felt even more daunting when she knew she was in trouble. She was sure he wouldn't be happy to learn that she'd been looking to steal his magic tea.

However, Sebastian had another culprit in mind. Seeing the mess from the fallen shelves, it didn't take a genius to deduce who had caused it. "Finny..." he half sighed, half growled.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian!" Finnian exclaimed hastily. "I'll clean it up right away!"

He started to grab handfuls of boxes from the floor when Andie piped up, "It was my fault." She intended it to sound bolder, but it came out as more of a squeak.

They both still heard her. Finnian dropped the boxes back on the floor in surprise and Sebastian gave her a sharp look. It was unlike Andie to speak up out of turn. Or often at all. "Your fault, you say?"

Andie quailed under his intense stare and found herself looking at her feet instead. "I was... looking for something. Finny was helping me."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow slightly. "Finny, you go back to work. And find Bardroy whilst you're at it. No doubt he was part of this scheme too."

Finnian hesitated. He knew how much Sebastian scared Andie, yet she'd still taken all of the blame to get him out of trouble. "But..."

"I said back to work, Finny," Sebastian repeated louder. It made Andie flinch and it was certainly enough to send Finnian scuttling off. "Now then... What is it that you were looking for?" Andie bit her lip, trying to think of something else that would get her into less trouble. Sebastian seemed to know what she was thinking, because he added, "You're already in trouble, so you may as well just tell me."

Andie took a long time before finally admitting in a voice barely higher than a whisper, "It was the tea."

"I'm sorry?"

Andie did meet his gaze then, uncharacteristically bursting out, "It's magic, isn't it? Nothing has ever made me feel like that before. It was just so wonderful that I had to try it again!"

Sebastian stared at her in surprise, then started chuckling. "Of course the tea isn't magic!"

Andie frowned, confused. "Then what was..."

"What did you think of Lady Elizabeth?" Sebastian asked instead, cutting her off. "How would you describe her?"

Andie thought it an odd question, but he clearly wanted an answer. "She was very nice and pretty. And happy. And she talked a lot."

"Do you know why I wanted you to spend time with her?" Sebastian continued. Andie shook her head. "Lady Elizabeth is one of the kindest, purest, most positive people you could meet. Her personality always has the tendency to affect most people. So what kind of effect do you think it would have on someone with a gift like yours?"

"So what I felt was... _her_ emotions?" said Andie, still feeling confused. Sebastian simply smiled his confirmation. "But I can't ever pick up on good things. And that doesn't make sense, because I felt it again when I was out in the gardens and Lady Lizzy wasn't there then."

"There is no such word as can't," Sebastian corrected her. "You only believe you cannot perceive positive emotions because you haven't been able to do so until now. Lady Elizabeth has a strong effect on anyone, so I had a feeling that spending some time with her would help to broaden your gift somewhat. Your senses were temporarily widened so that you were able to pick up on new emotions from those around you. What you experienced in the gardens was no doubt perceived from Finny. If we continue to hone your gifts in similar ways, then hopefully, they'll expand even more over time."

Andie couldn't believe it. Those wonderful things she'd been feeling were really from Finnian and Lady Elizabeth? She'd never been able to pick up on good feelings before - no wonder it had been so strange for her. But if what Sebastian said was true and that she'd possibly be able to do even more of it in the future, then it really did open up an entire new world for her. She'd never been happy in her life for as long as she could remember, but if she had a chance to feel something other than the negativity around her, maybe she'd finally have a hope at changing that.

Sebastian could see that what he'd just told her had suddenly broadened her very small world. Perhaps it was that look of utmost wonder on her face that made his decision. "I'll let you off the hook on this occasion, providing that you get all of this mess cleared up. And I would prefer if you came to me in the future, rather than staging silly little searches for something that doesn't even exist."

"Okay," Andie squeaked, hastily grabbing several boxes from the floor.

"Magic tea," Sebastian scoffed, as he walked off. "I've never heard the likes of it."

XXX

After clearing up in the kitchen, which she did even more quickly as soon as Bardroy returned, Andie retired back to the empty guest room to continue her knitting patterns. Part of her was still amazed that she hadn't gotten into trouble - it was probably because the incredibly valuable thing she'd been planning to steal didn't actually exist - but mostly, she was trying to get her head around what Sebastian had told her.

For the first time in her life, she'd been able to pick up something good. Was that really what being happy felt like? No wonder people strived to achieve it. She wanted to experience that feeling again and again. It had made her feel so lovely and warm whilst she'd been in the gardens with Finnian. She really hoped Lady Elizabeth would visit again soon. She didn't want to have to wait too long to feel that again.

There was a brisk tapping on the window behind her. Andie dropped her knitting in surprise. She turned to see Finnian's face beyond the window. He smiled and waved. She glanced back towards the open doorway, sending nobody past it, then hastened to open the window. "What's wrong?" The room was on the ground floor and she often saw Finnian pass by as he was working outside, but he'd never stopped to talk to her before. It wasn't worth Sebastian's wrath to be caught slacking.

"I just wanted to be sure you didn't get into too much trouble with Sebastian," he said, looking worried.

Andie was surprised by the extent of his concern. She really wasn't used to people worrying about her. "Oh. It was alright. He just told me to go to him next time I'm looking for something. He said the tea wasn't magic at all."

Confusion creased Finnian's forehead. "So what do you think it was that made you feel so good yesterday?"

It was in that moment that Andie realised that the answer to Finnian's question was him. It may have been Lady Elizabeth's presence that had widened her abilities and made her feel comfortable enough into opening up more, but she hadn't felt that wonderful sensation until she'd been with Finnian. When she'd first come to Phantomhive Manor, she'd been in desperate need for someone to act as her new security net and she'd initially singled Finnian out as the least threatening person there. But he'd stopped being just her comfort blanket a while ago. That wasn't the reason she always wanted to be around him anymore.

"Are you okay?" Finnian asked.

Andie realised she'd just been staring at him and fumbled to answer the easier question. "He said being around Lady Lizzy widened my power, so I can pick up other things too."

"You mean like good things?" Finnian asked, eyes wide. He understood that Andie had only ever been able to perceive bad emotions from people. She nodded, causing his face to split into a wide smile. "That's really great!"

Unexpectedly, Andie smiled back. It was a rarity for her. She felt the strangest sensation. It wasn't like yesterday - that had been more like the feeling had washed over her. This was something different. It was like something warm and comforting deep inside of her. She then had an astonishing thought. Was this _her_ emotion? She could feel the bad from people as clearly as if the emotions were her own, but there was always a distinct difference when it was from someone else, like it found its way into her from outside. This had started within her. It hadn't come from anywhere else. But she'd never felt anything like this before.

Then something did wash over her, but it wasn't anything good. It was cold and black and hinted at much darker things. The contrast was so sudden that she gasped. She knew that feeling well. "Sebastian's coming!" she told Finnian quickly.

Finnian didn't ask how she knew. He gave her a quick parting smile and ducked away from the window and out of sight. Andie hastily pulled the frame back into place and turned around just as Sebastian entered the room. He didn't seem at all surprised to find her right by the window, guilty expression on her face. On the contrary, he looked rather amused.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Fine," she squeaked, feeling that maybe this time, she really was going to get into trouble.

But apparently not. "We breached upon the subject of your afternoon with Lady Elizabeth earlier on," he said. "You now understand why I was eager for you to spend time with her, as a way to expand your abilities. I also wanted to commend you on how well you did with her questions. As you could see, Lady Elizabeth is a very talkative sort. Yet you kept up well and you even posed some questions of your own."

"Um... so that wasn't bad?" Andie shifted her feet nervously. She still hadn't been sure if she'd been speaking out of turn yesterday.

"In this case, not at all," Sebastian confirmed. "It's good to take some initiative sometimes."

Andie was surprised at that. She'd just assumed that, as a servant, she was always expected to know her place. "So it's okay to ask questions?"

"As long as it's appropriate," said Sebastian. "Does that mean you have any questions for me?"

Andie hesitated. Sebastian's dark presence still unnerved her and she preferred to keep contact with him to a minimum, but there was something that she'd always wondered about. She glanced towards the knitting that she'd left on her chair. "The clothes I'm making... They'd only fit very small children. I wondered what they're all for?"

"An excellent question!" Sebastian exclaimed, pleased. "Though there's actually someone who can answer that for you far better than I can, so come along..."

Andie realised that he wanted her to follow him, so she did so, feeling confused, following a few steps behind as he strode along briskly. He took her down the corridor and around several corners before stopping at one of the doors. Though Andie didn't get lost quite so much anymore, a lot of the doors still looked the same to her. She could only tell which room this was because Sebastian stopped to knock first. It was Master Ciel's study.

"Come in," the young, authoritative voice called.

Sebastian led Andie inside. "Afternoon, my young lord. Our maid had a question about our latest production line."

Production line? Andie gave Sebastian a quizzical glance, but he'd already turned and left her alone with the young master. How did he manage to do that in the blink of an eye? She turned back to Ciel, who was watching her expectantly. She really wasn't sure what Sebastian had meant, but she repeated the question that she'd asked him.

"Yes, we've been using them for the newest line of Funtom toys," he said, gesturing carelessly towards one side of the room.

There was a long, polished wooden table, carpeted in a perfectly organised array of various stuffed toys. Teddy bears, bunny rabbits, cats, dogs... All of them were wearing the little cardigans, hats and even tiny booties that Andie had knitted herself. She stopped beside the table, staring at them in surprise., The pieces she'd been knitting hadn't been for babies or small children at all. They were for the toys.

"Originally, we sold stuffed animals wearing clothing of much more expensive materials," Ciel added. "Detailed waistcoats, pantaloons, gowns... But the general consensus of the feedback we received was that the children didn't find them cuddly enough. They were used more for decoration. So we decided to design the next line in more everyday materials."

Andie stared at the stuffed toys in awe. Even in the clothes made of wool, they were still really high quality. "They're beautiful."

Ciel watched her staring at them. "Would you like one?" She looked round at him in surprise. It was easy to forget that she was eighteen years old with the way she acted. In the way that he'd had to grow up too quickly, she seemed to have regressed. "Maybe you're too old for stuffed toys, but you can have one to keep in the servant's quarters if you like. They are partly your handiwork after all."

He said it like it was all of no interest to him, but Andie was incredibly touched by the gesture. Growing up, her brothers had shared one tatty teddy and she hadn't had one at all. She'd never imagined owning something of such high calibre amongst toymakers. "I can really have one?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?" A hint of impatience coloured Ciel's tone. He didn't have the time to humour prompting Andie along that Sebastian seemed to. "So go ahead and pick one so that you can get back to work."

His manner made Andie feel like grabbing the first one she could and scarpering, but the child still in her made her stop. She'd barely had any toys when she was younger. All of them had been cast-offs. She'd certainly never gotten to choose a toy before. So even though she could feel Ciel's gaze burning into the back of her head, she boldly took her time in deciding. The cats were very pretty looking, but she'd never been altogether fond of cats. The neighbour's cat had once gotten into their house and destroyed all the drapes. Perhaps a traditional teddy bear?

But one toy caught her eye amongst all the others. It was a dog with floppy ears, a brown patch encircling one glass eye. He wore a bright tartan neckerchief and a wide-brimmed hat. Andie was certain that, had it been real, the dog would have been friendly. She picked it up gingerly. It was far softer than it looked. She resisted the urge to press it to her chest in front of Ciel.

"Hmm, the dog," Ciel observed, unimpressed. "Well, I should take it back to the servant's quarters if I were you. Then you are to get back to work. As you can see, these toys don't make themselves."

Andie nodded and then bowed awkwardly, clutching the stuffed dog. "Thank you very much."

Ciel waved a hand to dismiss her. "Just tell the others that it was a reward for doing well in those lessons that Sebastian has been giving you. All the staff here are such children that I'm sure they'd all want one otherwise."


End file.
